#I really really hope I don't get hate for this
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we keep this love in a photograph
pairing: lando norris x wolff!reader
summary: toto wolff's daughter and his golden boy, kimi antonelli. match in heaven, right? despite all the cute pics taken of you and kimi over the years, it turns out you might like boys behind the cameras more.
a/n: thank you sm for being my first request!! this was really cute and fun to write and i hope you like it.
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liked by kimi.antonelli, francolapinto and 770,341 others
y/nwolff: found a new photographer
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olliebearman: idk what you're talking about p1 is nice but whoever was holding the camera in p3 did a horrible job
y/nwolff: yeah idk who that rat is 🤷♀️ must've snuck into the frame kimi.antonelli: why do you insist on hurting me
user1: soft launch??
user2: girl she's been posting him for years now we need real confirmation user3: but they'd look so cute together 🥺 user2: @/user2 that's what we've all been sayinggg
francolapinto: pfft what photographer i could do better
y/nwolff: take me out to dinner and we'll see user4: uh oh someone's never getting a mercedes seat user5: @/user4 PLEASE toto probably gave kimi his seat to make sure he'd treat y/n well franco might be getting a little something sent his way
user6: mother and the guy she's dating
user7: i literally love you y/n
lando: where's the "thank you lando for inviting me to this lovely dinner"
y/nwolff: i literally already repaid you 😒 lando: i guess i like calling in favors user8: they're so sibling coded
y/nscloset: immaculate style as always * liked by y/nwolff
totowolff_original: No drinking and driving.
y/nwolff: tell that to kimi i still don't have my license
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liked by username1 and 530,192 others
f1gossipofficial: 5 years of kimiyn! our fav bestfriend duo - or maybe something more?
tagged: kimi.antonelli, y/nwolff
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user1: confirmation whennn
user2: so basically they've been teasing us since the last decade??
user3: maybe they don't want it to affect kimi's public view? they might think toto has a preference for him cause of him and y/n user4: @/user3 well the two of them certainly aren't private about their friendship
user5: i need what they have 😭
user6: if only i was pretty and rich and toto wolff's daughter and my boyfriend was pretty and rich and a formula one driver who drove for my dad
user7: they never hard launched but the cutest couple on the grid frfr
user8: guys! my friend and i were passing by this paddle place near where she lives and she saw y/n and kimi going inside. he was carrying her stuff (bags, drink) for her while she was yapping at 3000 miles an hour and she was blushing so hard
user9: what a gentleman user10: drop the loc please i'll be signing up for a yearly membership
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liked by lando and 701,328 others
y/nwolff: guess who got his ass whooped
tagged: kimi.antonelli, lando
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totowolff_original: No cursing, Y/N.
y/nwolff: sorry dad i just had to rub it in ☹️ y/nwolff: promise i won't do it next time
kimi.antonelli: i swear you hate me
y/nwolff: it's a hate love thing kimi kimi.antonelli: where is the love???? user1: IS THIS KIMIYN CONFIRMED
lando: guess who got her ass whooped
y/nwolff: idk not me lando: 🤨 ru sure about that user2: not them bickering again lmaoo
user2: yes girl get your man
user3: kimi trying to help y/n against lando was so cute
user4: RIGHT he was all heart eyes
user5: ofc the photographer she was talking ab last post was him
user6: kimi serving romcom tortured boy love interest
user7: the way i understood this immediately is concerning
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liked by y/nwolff and 901,339 others
lando: nothing like a friendly match
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user1: the way i thought that was his 🫣
user2: same girl same
user3: whoever took this photo needs a raise we're getting all the offseason lando content we need
user4: lando were you making sure kimi and y/n weren't getting too handsy
user5: poor guy having to thirdwheel
y/nwolff: nothing like a big ego
lando: you like it user6: hello?? why is it getting hot in here user7: @/user6 dont be weird they're like siblings user8: idk that was not a sibling comment...toto what are your thoughts on this
user9: hes so fine oh my god
mclaren: staying in shape during off-season i see
lando: aren't you proud of me admin
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liked by y/nwolff, totowolff_official and 870,193 others
kimi.antonelli: bit of a downgrade
tagged: lando, y/nwolff
view all 7,034 comments
user1: lando what are you doing in the tags 😭
user2: check his stories, he was having dinner w y/n and kimi maybe they wanted to bike around the city together
user3: he looks so fine on that bike
mercedesamgf1: looking sharp today, kimi
kimi.antonelli: thanks! user4: it's the girlfriend effect
y/nwolff: yeah you had hair in the first pic
kimi.antonelli: why do i put up with you y/nwolff: because i'm fun 🫶 much love user5: y/n be nice to your man he's balding from the stress
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liked by olliebearman and 270,145 others
f1gossipofficial: SPOTTED! kimi antonelli, y/n wolff, and lando norris spending time together during the off-season
view all 5,018 comments
user1: barbie and two kens
user2: i love how kimi is just in the background
user3: am i crazy or is this giving landoyn...like i can't unsee it
user4: and she's been posting him a lot recently.. user5: you're all crazy there's no way
user6: why is ollie in the likes
user7: she's so stunning
user8: giving mom, dad, and angsty teenager
user9: nono it's mother and son bonding while dad is on the phone user10: wtf is this family
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liked by totowolff_official and 1,039,472 others
y/nwolff: we kiss a lot, hope this helps ❤️
tagged: lando
view all 40,193 comments
user1: my kimiyn heart...
user2: absolutely RADIANT
totowolff_official: You better not be in the McLaren paddock or start wearing orange all the time.
y/nwolff: but i have to show my boy support!! totowolff_official: You can do it in private. lando: i promise she will sir user3: DID HE JUST- user4: freaky ahh user5: toto's comments backfiring LMAOO
user6: oml that one girl on twt was right
supermaxmaxmax: I WAS!!! im not crazy!!!
user7: is this what kimi meant by being downgraded lolol
kimi.antonelli: yes i went from friend to furniture y/nwolff: stfu you're still my best friend he's just more than that lando: yeah i'm a lot to take in at once 😉 user8: ????????
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lando has added to their stories
[caption: too busy to be holding the camera this time]
replies:
user1: lando why you gripping onto her like that
y/nwolff: woah i look so hot
lando: you are very hot
user2: mother and fatherr 🛐
user3: poor kimi 😭 having to thirdwheel and having to be photographer
kimi.antonelli: i'm doing god's work here
lando: either you're improving, or maybe you just have great subjects 😊
#lando norris x reader#formula one x reader#formula one#f1 x reader#f1#f1 smau#lando norris#kimi antonelli#toto wolff#oikarma ᯓᡣ𐭩
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i know this is probably a very unpopular opinion but i prefer the new animation over the old style. Adrien's new design will take some getting used to but everyone else looks AMAZING. and im sorry, i know we all loved the old animation, and it's nostalgic, but it was OUTDATED. miraculous needed an animation update so badly. some of the old episodes looked a little bit too much like cocomelon if im being honest!
i think a lot of people hate the new animation because they don't like change, which i get. I initially felt the same. but i think it's a massive improvement and those people who are refusing to watch the new season bc of the change are doing a massive disservice to themselves and the show.
it's all just so fun! the background characters have more diversity. there are so many more little details (like the strands in Marinette’s hair, the red streaks in ladybug's, the seams on their suits, Marinette’s room having clutter, the wrinkles/textures in clothing, nino's curls, and the entirety of Paris looking less dead). all the characters feel so much more like themselves and the new animation brings so much life to them. the new akumatization sequence is so cool and creative.
overall, i really, really love it, and i don't understand why people are so adamant saying it's bad when it very clearly isn't? other than disliking change which i do understand. but man im gonna be honest, it feels like this fandom hates any sort of change and literally always has something negative to say. shows getting an animation update after a long runtime is completely normal and happens all the time. maybe not this drastic of a change, sure, but it's very common. after 6 seasons of this show id HOPE the animation would've changed and been more up to the higher quality standard other animated shows are.
anyway, loving season 6 so far. loved episode 2. excited to see more. i adore this show more than words can describe it makes me so happy
(please do not make me regret keeping reblogs on by coming on here and telling me why you dislike it and arguing with me. i am fed up w the negativity)
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12:34AM
hi... it's, um, haechan. i, uh... i couldn't sleep. i've been trying, but it's like the second i close my eyes, everything comes back. i know you won't pick up, won't even listen to this, but i just need to get everything off my chest. to help me forget, you know?
your scent... it's still all over my apartment. my sheets, my couch... it's everywhere. even after i washed everything, fuck, even deep-cleaned my entire apartment, i can still smell it. smell you. like it's burned into the walls or something. i hate it, but... at the same time, i kinda don't want it to go away. after all, it's the only part of you i have left.
01:17AM
do you remember how you used to gently trace over my moles? leaving a kiss on each and every one of them? you'd say it was your way of showing me how you loved every part of me. that even the smallest parts of me mattered. you told me my moles were attractive. you told me i was attractive.
so how could you spit it in my face and tell me you didn't find me attractive anymore? was it true? or were you just... trying to hurt me? because it fucking worked. i can't stop thinking about it. the scowl on your face when you told me i wasn't good enough for you.
02:03AM
i... i know i shouldn't keep calling. you're probably asleep, since my number isn't blocked yet. i just can't stop thinking about you. about... about us. about all the nights you'd show up here after work, completely drained. you wouldn't say much, just lie next to me, and i'd hold you until you fell asleep.
i thought... i thought that was love. i thought we had something real. but maybe it wasn't. maybe you were just holding on because you needed someone, and i just happened to be there.
03:22AM
i miss you. so... so much. i miss the way you'd laugh at my dumb jokes or the way you'd pull me in for a hug, even when you were pissed off at me. i miss your warmth. i miss... the way you used to look at me, like i was everything to you.
but maybe that was just all in my head. because if you really felt that way, if you really cared, you wouldn't have left.
04:11AM
...hi. this is the last one, i promise. i can just imagine the disgust on your face when you check your phone in the morning. 'm sorry. i know you want me to just go away and forget everything. but i can't. i can't just forget you. i can't.
i loved you. god, i loved you so fucking much. i loved every part of you, even the parts that hurt me. and i tried so hard to be someone you could love back.
but i guess it wasn't enough. i wasn't enough.
i hope you'll be happy. i really do. i won't reach out anymore, so you don't have to worry about that. i just... i needed to let everything out.
thank you for everything, my love. maybe in another life, when we're not so broken, you'll still want me. maybe that version of me will be enough. i'll hold onto that thought... even if it's just in the scent of your cologne.
notes this was inspired by my one and only @ddolbyong !!!!!! i love u sooo so much, thank u 4 encouraging me to write this and letting me use ur works as inspo!!!!!! #mixu4ever (ᵒ̴̶̷᷄﹏ᵒ̴̶̷᷅) this was also of course, inspired by cologne by beabadoobee. MY GOATBADOOBEE!!!!!! any kind of interaction is greatly appreciated, thank u for reading! (..◜ᴗ◝..)
#nct fanfic#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct dream#nct dream x reader#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127#nct dream scenarios#nct dream fanfic#nct dream imagines#nct timestamps#nct 127 timestamps#nct dream timestamps#nct dream angst#nct 127 angst#nct 127 imagines#haechan x reader#lee haechan#lee haechan x reader#haechan angst#lee haechan angst#haechan#nct haechan#lee donghyuck#nct donghyuck#nct dream donghyuck#nct dream haechan
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tired transmasc from earlier. My discomfort with those who believe in "transandrophobia" is not from self-hate nor from radfems. It’s from listening to transfems. And I don’t believe men or masculinity are bad at all!! I am in community with with men and mascs and with women + fems all the time. It’s just plain ignorant to say we don’t have male privilege and are actually oppressed for being men. We do have privilege. The whole "everyone is saying men are evil!!" thing sounds so much like incel behaviour it’s really off putting.
hello again! thanks for dropping by, let me see if i can help explain things better, and as to why it's not okay to put down other trans men and deny that they are experience oppression just because you, one person, believes they are not. dont take this personally, but much like gravity, you not believing in it doesn't mean it's not happening. it's happening, you're just refusing to acknowledge it. this is the equivalent of plugging one's ears and humming when someone else starts talking
i'm gonna call this behavior for what it is, because yourself & every other self-flagellating trans man & transmasc who says transandrophobia doesn't exist because it belittles trans women are just hurting people ON PURPOSE with a thin guise of saying "listen to trans women!!!!!" i really hope you understand that trans women can see through that. we can tell that you're doing this specifically to hurt people, not to give trans women a platform to stand on. you think you are telling people to listen to trans women, but what you are doing is SILENCING trans men & mascs in order to do that. you can't do that to your own gender. you're silencing yourself in the process. you're participating in transmasculine erasure and this is not a good thing. don't be proud of that. don't be proud of erasing the things your siblings go through.
I have to be really, really honest with you and tell you that this kissing up to trans women for brownie points stuff is really, really obvious and none of us like it. Like I'm not being mean. Please don't take this in a sarcastic tone. I am stock serious when I say that trans women & transfems can tell when you are doing things to pander to us to act like you care about transfems and transfemininity. We can tell this is desperate virtue signalling to not look transmisogynistic and nothing else. I'm serious. You are hating people on purpose with the guise of trying to help trans women. You do not have to silence someone else in order to let trans women talk and listen to them.
If you do not want transfems & trans women to be silenced: do not silence someone else. You do not solve this problem by silencing someone else. We solve the problem by listening to each other, not forcing the other to sit in silence while only one person talks. You don't solve the problem by doing that exact thing to someone else. You're creating a new problem.
privilege is a power structure, trans men do not suddenly shoot up from oppressed woman to neurotypical cishet white able bodied man in terms of status in society. i need people to get this into their heads that trans men do not and will not ever shoot directly up the privilege ladder and instantly become abusive and predator and holding power over all the other queers. like this is completely fabricated. you can stop believing that now, it's quite literally made up by trans/rad fems because they do not interact with trans men irl to see that they struggle.
trans men are not oppressed for being men: they're oppressed for being TRANS men. the trans part is what they're being oppressed for. do you not see transmascs and trans men as trans? because if so that is highly disturbing. and don't call that "regular transphobia" because that's not true and you know it isn't trans men and mascs are oppressed... for being TRANS men. seriously. you gotta stop focusing on "men bad" so hard that you literally forget that trans men are trans. back it up. like seriously i'm dead serious. back it up one step. before you focus on the "man" part, think about the "trans" part and how you're basically denying that trans men are trans because you are so wrapped up in radfem hate. TRANS men do not become cis men after they come out. they don't become cis men after transitioning. this, quite literally, is transandrophobia. what you said right there is an example of transandrophobia. sober up, you are not thinking clearly.
the thing is that we do not have male privilege wholesale as a group. that is a lie you have been told. you have to realize most trans men never gain any form of cishet male privilege. some trans men may pass well, but if the word gets out that they're trans, they are no longer respected or viewed as a man at all. especially if you're a man of color. trans men may have an amount of privilege depending on the situation, like being someone's manager, but it is not male privilege in every situation, nor is it anywhere near the privilege that cishet perisex white abled men have.
when we have this type of conversation, we are assuming that all trans men are 100% cis passing who will never be questioned. which happens, but that does not mean those trans men do not struggle. in fact, trans men like that suffer greatly in terms of reproductive care. cis passing trans men are often outright denied reproductive care, and some need that to live. some need to see a gynecologist for a variety of reasons, and being a cis passing man can shoot you in the foot. trans men struggle in health care almost universally. trans men are constantly misgendered in medical settings, and are very often treated as though they are cis women by medical staff no matter what. trans men and mascs are also very commonly assaulted by doctors and other medical professionals
most trans men do not get paid more at their jobs. trans men struggle to get promotions. trans men struggle to get employment in male dominated fields. most trans men still deal with homelessness, sexual assault, physical assault, domestic violence, addiction, misogyny and more. trans men deal with corrective rape. trans men deal with stalking. trans men do not magically have it better in society the second they come out. it creates a whole new host of problems
gaslighting strangers and telling them they're not being abused and oppressed isn't helping anyone. i'm serious. please stop this behavior because you are the one hurting people. care about trans men and mascs. you don't have to throw transmascs and trans men under the bus in order for trans women to be heard. we don't need to be pandered to like this. it's not flattering or helping anyone. you don't need to kiss up to people who literally hate your gender.
i need you to understand that people who talk like this hate transmascs and trans men. they don't like you. they don't care about you. leave those kinds of environments. you're going to regret it if you don't. if you're thinking about your oppression aaalllll day long its all you're ever gonna see and eventually, it's gonna crush you under its weight. be careful. that's dangerous thinking.
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Makes sense. As a writer and artist myself, I gain inspiration from everything and everywhere. And creating stories and art is a kind of coping mechanism too. I get it even though I've never been in a war and hope I never will. I've got my own everyday battles. Everything from depression to people I really don't want to live with but have to pissing me off practically on a daily basis...and mostly preventing me from engaging in creativity of any kind...which is absolutely my drug of choice. It's maddening.
But, enough about my crap. What I have to put up with isn't as bad as what these two authors had to go through. I live with a guy I hate that I'd be surprised if he didn't have some form of untreated PTSD because he had seen some shit in Vietnam though he never actually killed anyone. But seeing people skinned and hanging upside-down and still breathing and having to guard them until his companions could get help to cut them down. I also heard that he got bombed once when he was sleeping. That shit would mess anyone up and he never recieved treatment for it.
I was understanding for a long time, but after a while, I just got angrier and angrier...I can' only put up with being called names and being mentally and physically abused (that part is rare, but it happens) without learning that I can indeed hate someone when for the longest time, I didn't know I could. Now I want nothing to do with him but I'm finanachally stuck in the same house with him until I can buy my freedom. Which is unlikely because I turn fifty this month and I've never been financially well off enough to leave as I desprately need to.
Asshole finished breaking my mom's sprit as much as it is possible to do to that stubborn bitch. Love her the most in the world, but still can't stand her and I hate living with her. She's fought her own wars too. So it wasn't all him, but he didn't help. He's such a bad husband and it's sad I can recognize that because I've never been married myself. Or romantically involved with anyone beyond a couple of dates. Those flopped...and I think in part because I didn't have enough information about myself. Never asked myself beyond am I gay or not...the answer was no. Then last year after some learning the question came up am I ace or not? Turns out the answer was yes and no...then I did some digging and came up with the term demisexual and that fit me.
And I'm breaking my rule about not bitching online. I have my own share of traumas. Still living them.
i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back
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So, I did know the basic psychology of this. Or I have a good guess at least. But I was too tired and just needed a way to end the post quickly. I am running on fumes nearly all the time and sometimes I just do whatever I need so I can publish something and feel like I accomplished a goal.
But a few people are having issues with what I said.
They mentioned that autistic folks find comfort in repetition and feel like I am calling that sad. I definitely see that as a possible interpretation and I appreciate them mentioning feeling that way.
But I just wanted to use a little bit of energy to address why I don't think I was referring to these normal, healthy coping mechanisms. I mentioned in a reply that my father actually needed to watch the same show over and over because he was too sick to concentrate on something unfamiliar. I get why it can be helpful.
Firstly, I don't know many autistic people who trap everyone they know at a party and play the same 12 songs over and over.
By and large, that aspect was what I found most sad.
But aside from that, I see this repetitive behavior as a very different thing.
In fact, I would say it isn't the behavior itself... it is the *reason* for the behavior.
I see Trump's repetitive behavior more as living in the past, stuck in his ways, being stubborn, and unwilling to try new things. Something I see a lot with elderly conservative folks. They yearn for a better time in the past when they forgot all of the shitty things and only remember happy times. They say music was better in the good old days and refuse to consider any good music could be created outside of that golden age.
Trump is stuck in the 80s and 90s. He was young and healthy and grabbing pussy and fucking models (with and without consent) and going to parties of important people. He was invited to celebrity weddings and was literally Regis Philbin's best friend. Society generally liked him. He was just the goofy rich guy with the hair and many of us thought he was really good at business. Something enhanced by The Apprentice which was heavily edited to make him seem like a business genius. He likes people thinking he is good at business more than he likes being president.
I actually think he hates being president and only ran this time to stay out of jail.
Trump is not well liked as he used to be. No matter how many cult members love and praise him, he remains deeply unhappy. His wife refuses to touch or even kiss him in public. She does this little hand escape thing every time he tries to hold her hand. And when he tries to kiss her she makes him do that French thing where he has to kiss the air near her head.
Every one of his current "friends" is just playing the game. They are hoping their fealty will help them climb the ladder. I doubt he has a single genuine friend left. Except maybe Rudy Guiliani, who turned into a fucking nutball.
He was traumatized from being inches away from death and I think that was the real reason he moved his inauguration inside. A life long New Yorker is pretty well adapted to the cold.
He probably has erectile dysfunction. He is said to need a diaper. People say he smells really bad. Getting old sucks for everyone, but it is devastating to a narcissist of Trump's caliber.
Trump is in a psychological prison of unhappiness and all he has left is his rallies and his parties where he tries to trigger memories of better times. He has the world's thickest nostalgia glasses.
Why do you think he says "Make America Great AGAIN"?
He says he is going to restore the US to its "former glory."
Almost every personal and political goal of his is based on restoring how things used to be. Which is why he so easily fit into the regressive Republican party despite being a New York Democrat for most of his life.
Trump has elderly nostalgia brain and he is stuck in a loop. He is desperately trying to recreate his glory days.
I get why people had an issue with the caption. And I should have waited until I had more energy to clarify.
In the end, this man is stuck in his ways and stupendously uncurious of new things.
And those are terrible traits for a president.
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If You Talk In Your Sleep
Chapter 3
A/N: As soon as I warned you that I wouldn't be writing anymore, I turned around and wrote a chapter 😂. I won't be churning stuff out like I used to, but I am going to try to write when I can, for my own sanity. ICYMI, this is the one with Elvis set in Vegas in 1969 and you're a Casino Boss's wife. I hope you enjoy it!
Need to catch up? Masterlist HERE.
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, smut, kissing, oral sex (m receiving), p in v sex, reader calls Elvis "daddy", he spanks her a couple times, and they drink alcohol
Word count: ~3.5k
“It is morning.” His eyes pop open and you look at each other in terror.
“Oh fuck.”
******
You leap out of bed as quickly as possible and jump in the shower. You've never washed so fast in your life, but you know if you go home smelling like Elvis it'll definitely be the end of both of you. You dry off quickly and put your clothes back on, running through the suite like a chicken with your head cut off. Elvis tries to help you as much as he can, but both of you have a sinking, sick feeling in your stomach that you don't think has anything to do with the champagne from last night. As soon as you're dressed, he calls one of his men to take you home and you stand there awkwardly as you wait for him.
“Elvis, I'm sorry–”
“It's okay, honey. I understand.” You look up at him with your eyes shiny and full of fear and something else entirely. Coming home in the daylight might be the last thing you ever do. And seeing Elvis again puts his life at risk too. You're not willing to do that, so you know this goodbye has to be long term at the very least, if not permanent. He leans in to kiss you softly just as a tall young man with shaggy brown hair busts through the door.
“Where's the fire, boss?” He asks, panting. It's clear Elvis woke him up and had him rush to get here.
“This little girl needs a ride to the Flamingo, as fast as possible.” Elvis turns to you. “Honey, this is Jerry. You can trust him. He'll take you home.”
You look up at Jerry and nod. His face is kind and soft and you see why Elvis trusts him. You turn back to Elvis.
“Elvis, I–”
“I know.” He cuts you off and kisses you one last time before hurrying you out the door with Jerry. As soon as you're gone, he drops onto the sofa and holds his head in both hands. He hates to admit it, but he's scared. Scared for you and scared for himself. His eyes fixate on the carpet as images of what might happen float up and he tries to block them out. He walks to the phone in his suite and dials the number of one of his bodyguards.
“Red, get everyone together. We need to talk.”
******
In the car, you try not to fidget too much as you ride in silence. You twist your ring around on your finger and sigh deeply.
“You alright?” Jerry asks, his voice quiet.
“Not really. I'm not sure what I'm going home to.” You're not sure why you're telling him this, but Elvis did say you could trust him.
“He wouldn't let anything happen to you. Not if he can help it.” You look up at him and he smiles sweetly.
“You don't know my husband.”
“No, but I know Elvis. It's been a while since he had the same girl come over twice and even longer since one stayed the night. I have orders to stay and make sure you're okay.” You shake your head frantically.
“That's really not necessary.”
“Maybe not. But I'm gonna do it anyway. If you need to get away, I'll be in the casino for a few hours.” You think to yourself that it sounds like a good way to get yourself beaten to a pulp, but he won't defy his boss’s orders for anything.
“Thank you.” He lets you get out a block away and then parks and heads into the casino. You make your way up to your suite, holding your head high and praying you don't run into any of the guys. At the door, you take a deep breath and then open it. It's unlocked.
“Where the fuck you been?” Carl is sitting on the couch waiting for you, but you've been working on this lie all morning.
“Out. I ran into Holly last night at the Tropicana and we drank way too much. Ended up crashing in a room there.” Carl stands and walks over to you and you thank God that you had the wherewithal to shower before you left.
“If I call Holly right now, she'll tell me the same story?” You stomach flip-flops. Holly is a girl you used to know back when you were a dancer. She knows Carl and was a pretty good friend, so you think there's a chance she might roll with it if you have to call her. You look him in the eye and lie boldly.
“Yeah, of course.” For a second, he just looks at you, trying to decide how much he really cares. But your lie must be convincing because he nods slowly. You breathe deeply, thinking you're in the clear, but he grabs your face in his meaty hand and squeezes.
“If I ever find out you're fucking lying, you will not enjoy what I do to you.”
“I'm not.” You spit it at him, but the effect is diminished by your cheeks being smushed. He lets you go aggressively and you rub your chin.
“I'm going out. I won't be home before work.” You nod and he heads out of the suite. As soon as he's gone, you sink to the floor and cry, your body wracked with sobs now that the adrenaline has worn off. You want to let Elvis know that you're in the clear, but you can't. Carl will have eyes on you for the next few days, so you'll have to stay home. That's a price you're willing to pay to keep Elvis alive, though, and you sigh deeply, relieved that Carl has bought your lie. For now.
******
You lay low and stay in your suite for the next few days, knowing if you go anywhere you'll be followed. So instead, you wait. Finally, almost a week later, you get bored and decide to go shopping. You assume it's safe now, since Carl hasn't said another word about you coming home that one morning. Still, when you walk through the casino downstairs, you can't shake the feeling that you're being watched and followed.
You try to ignore it and go about your business, wandering through stores and holding up articles of clothing to your body. If you are being followed, they won't see anything exciting. As you walk through one particular store, though, the feeling of being watched gets worse. You start to look around suspiciously for one of Carl’s guys, but you don't see anyone you recognize. Just as you're about to give up and go home, you turn and run smack into Jerry, gasping.
“Oh my god. You scared me.” You clutch your chest and try to calm your breathing.
“Sorry. Elvis wanted me to give you this.” He presses a shopping bag into your hand.
“Wait. How did you know I was here?” He turns a little pink and fidgets with his fingers.
“We've been in the casino all week waiting for you to come down with orders to follow you if you did. And give you that. So, just, look at it okay? I'll tell Elvis you got it.” You nod and he turns to walk away from you.
“Jerry, wait!” He looks around and turns back.
“Hmm?”
“How is he?” You ask quietly. Being without him is about to kill you and you miss him so much it hurts.
“He misses you. Just, look in the bag and do as he asks. He's so worried about you. None of us have slept much.” He's almost pleading with you, so you nod slowly and he gives you a half smile before turning and walking out of the store.
You run to the checkout counter to pay for what you want and then rush home, the bag that Jerry gave you tucked into your other shopping bag. You have no idea what's in it, so you want to hide it in case you get caught. When you get back to your suite, Carl has left for work, so you have the place to yourself. You quickly pull out the bag and dump the contents onto your bed.
Inside the bag is a dress, some jewelry, a masquerade mask, and a card. You open the card first.
Hey honey,
I miss you. Put this on and meet me at the Palomino Club at midnight.
Love,
Elvis
You try not to smile too much at his handwriting and the way he signed the note. Then, you look down at the contents of the bag. The mask makes sense now that you know where he's asking you to go. The Palomino Club is brand new in Vegas, a strip joint, where no one respectable goes. It's so seedy that most of the patrons wear these masks to keep their identity secret. You're not sure why he's asking you to meet him there, but you suspect it has something to do with the newness and perceived anonymity. Unless they follow you, Carl's men would never think to look for you there.
Upon further inspection, you realize that the mask is beautiful. It's peacock-feathers on a purple background and it'll cover most of your face when you put it on. The dress is deep turquoise, backless and silky, and matches the mask perfectly. You glance at your watch, realize it's almost 10pm, and start getting ready.
******
At 12:07, Elvis sits at a table in the Palomino Club and anxiously fiddles with a glass of whiskey that he's not drinking. He ordered it just to have something to do with his hands.
“Jer, she said she was comin’ right?” Jerry shrugs and nods. You didn't say one way or the other, but he's reluctant to tell his boss no. “Then where the hell is she?”
He adjusts his mask. It's gold and matches his belt that he's wearing over a deep purple crushed velvet suit. It's over the top and the belt probably gives away who he is, but it doesn't seem like anyone is paying any attention. Everyone in the club is too focused on the barely-clad dancers on the stage. The girls have come up to him a couple of times and offered dances, but he declines. He's tempted to say yes once, but he thinks of how it would look for you to come in while he's getting a lapdance from another woman, especially one as naked as the girls in this club. Honestly, he can't look directly at them without blushing anyway. He takes a sip of the whiskey and grimaces.
“Isn't that her?” Jerry gestures to the door and he turns quickly. Sure enough, there you are, a vision in your peacock mask, silky dress, and strappy gold sandals. He wonders how you knew to wear them, since they match his outfit.
You see him sitting at a table and start to make your way towards him. As you approach, he slips out of the chair and stands up, his mouth open a little.
“Wasn't sure you were comin’.” He leans in to kiss your cheek, lingers, and then moves over to your lips, kissing you softly. You smile as he hovers with his mouth just above yours, obviously desperate to kiss you for real.
“Well, I did. Now what?” He taps his nose against yours lightly and smiles.
“You need a drink.” You groan as he pulls back and takes your hand to lead you over to the bar. You order a cocktail and sip it as he wraps himself around you from behind, pressing his lips to your shoulder. “You look good enough to eat, honey.”
You giggle and lean back into him as he kisses your neck.
“You promise?”
“Would I lie?” You turn to face him and he pulls you into a deep kiss, dipping his tongue into your mouth. His arms wrap around your waist and before you know it, your bodies are flush against each other and he's grinding his hips into you. You're both oblivious to the outside world, too lost in the kiss and in each other. It completely catches you off guard when someone taps on your shoulder. You drag yourself out of the kiss and turn. It's one of the dancers.
“Would you two like a private dance in one of our fantasy rooms?” Elvis looks at the girl and then back at you. You're ready to say no, but he has that glint in his eye.
“I think we would, doll.” You look at him with your eyes wide and questioning, but he just kisses your cheek and puts his hand on your lower back to guide you to follow the dancer. At the door, she turns to face you both, pushing it open without stepping inside.
“For a hundred bucks I'll disappear and you can have this room to yourselves for the night.” Elvis grins.
“Great minds think alike. I was gonna ask if you could make this happen. Here.” He fishes a hundred dollar bill out of his pocket and hands it to her. She smiles and disappears as quickly as she appeared. “After you, honey.”
You walk in with him behind you. The room is just a round conversation pit with a built in circular plush couch covered with cushions. The whole thing is dark pink velvet with black trim and the walls are mirrors. The low ceiling is black velvet with mirrored medallions holding it in place and the lighting is low, but still enough to see. He shrugs and then settles on one of the couches. You walk to him and bend over, putting your hands on his knees.
“You been to a lot of places like this?” He looks down the front of your dress and grunts.
“Not at all. There aren't many.”
“So you haven't had a bunch of lapdances?” He raises an eyebrow, not sure where you're going with this.
“Not really, no.”
“You know I used to be a dancer.” His eyes get wide.
“Yeah?” You push him back against the couch and turn away from him, grinding your ass against his lap. The music is loud, but not too loud, so you bounce and roll to it rhythmically as you rub yourself on his already-hard cock. He reaches for your hips but you stand up and bend over in front of him, touching your toes and giving him a good view of your ass. He spanks one cheek and you yelp a little. “My turn to be the boss tonight.”
“Yes daddy.” You whimper as he spanks you again on the other cheek and grins at you calling him daddy.
“Turn around.” Eager to follow instructions, you turn and climb onto his lap, straddling his hips. He holds your ass in both hands as you begin to roll against him to the music. As you dance, you push one of the straps of your dress off your shoulder. He watches as you push the other one off too and let your dress fall open to your waist. The backless nature of the dress means you're not wearing a bra, so this simple action puts your whole chest on display for him. “Goddamn, baby.”
He moves to cup your breasts, pinching your nipples between his fingers. Pulling you towards him, he wraps his lips around one nipple and flicks it with his tongue. Once he's satisfied with how hard it is, he moves to the other side and does the same thing. He nibbles and sucks on you as you run your hands in the back of his hair.
“Fuck, Elvis.”
“I'm just gettin’ started.” He whispers and you smirk.
“Me too.” You sink to the floor between his knees and run your hands up his thighs. His muscles tense as you get closer and closer to his swollen cock. You coo seductively. “What d’you want, baby?”
“Mmm I want you to suck it.”
“Yes daddy.” Your hands go to his belt and then the zipper. He lifts his hips for you to pull his pants down just enough to get his member out, the tip of it leaking precum as it throbs. You pump him so slowly with your hand and he moans softly, watching you. Then, you lean forward and, pulling his foreskin back, lick the tip of his dick. He groans and leans his head back as you take him fully in your mouth, sliding your lips around him tightly and letting him hit the back of your throat. It's been a while since you've given a blowjob, but you used to be pretty good at it, so you tap into those skills as best you can. Either way, he seems to be enjoying it as he grunts and whimpers, his hand moving to the back of your head to hold your hair as he thrusts gently into your mouth. His hips roll as he fucks your face and he strokes your cheek.
“So pretty with your mouth full a’my cock, baby.” You moan softly around him. “Fuck, doll, I don't wanna cum yet.”
He gently pulls your head up off of him and moans as his hard dick bounces with being released from your lips.
“Aw, daddy. How do you want this pussy?” You giggle, standing up. You both still have your masks and half your clothes on, so you slip your panties off and climb into his lap, rubbing your wet folds against him, but not letting him inside. His hips buck and he grunts.
“I wanna fuck her good and hard, baby. Make her cum so good for me.”
His fingertips find your clit and he rubs circles on your swollen bud. You moan loudly and hold onto his shoulders for support.
“Take off everything but your mask.” His voice is quiet but firm, so you stand up and do exactly as he says. He does the same until you're both naked in just your masks. “Lay on your back.”
You settle onto the couch on your back and he puts your ankles on his shoulders, teasing your entrance with the head of this cock.
“You want it hard, baby?”
“God, yes!” You moan as he slams into you in one thrust, your eyes rolling back from being filled so quickly.
“Oh, honey, you take this cock so well.” He picks up an intense pace of thrusting into you and you could die because it feels so good. You're already close to an orgasm as he slams against your g-spot relentlessly, but it really pushes you over the edge when he reaches down to rub on your clit as he fucks you. “Come on, baby, cum for daddy.”
You do as you're told and groan loudly as your climax crashes into you like a freight train, filling your body with electric heat. He slows down just a little as you cum, trying to push off his own orgasm while your pussy squeezes his dick. Without warning, he leans down and picks you up, sitting back on his heels as he holds you in his arms and thrusts into you from underneath. In this position, you can kiss him easily, so you do and it's surprisingly tender. All of a sudden the sex has become something more, something that's binding you together as you look into each other’s eyes. It's like the masks remove the necessity for protective walls and the only thing left is vulnerability and something that shouldn't be there yet, but it is.
“Honey, I'm gonna cum.” He whispers it like a declaration of affection.
“Good.” Your affirmation is a confirmation that you feel the same way. Two more thrusts and he grunts and buries his head in your neck while his cock twitches and shoots his release inside you. He groans into your hair and tries desperately to keep himself from saying the words. It's too soon. Too early. He's only known you for a couple of weeks. But it's there, so close to the tip of his tongue that he's scared to open his mouth. And you wait, needing him to say it first because if you do it makes you insane. So you sit there for a few seconds, both of you refusing to admit what you know to be true. Even if it's stupid, unrealistic, short-lived, it is in fact, true.
He pulls back from his place in your neck and pushes the mask off of your face. Then, you take his off and there's nothing blocking you anymore. You see him and he sees you and there's no going back.
“Fuck. I'm in love with you.” He says it incredulously like he can't believe it either because he can't. It hangs there for a second like smoke before you whisper your response.
“I'm in love with you too.”
******
Until Next Time
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
@ccab @atleastpleasetelephone @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley @returntopresley @searchingforgravity @msamarican @angschrof @lustnhim @polksaladava @librababe99 @hooked-on-elvis @theelvisprincess @makethemorning @peaceloveelvis @mrspresley69 @pxpresley @kxnnxy
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cw: shidou ryusei x afab! reader. all characters are aged 21+ (you and shidou are already 25 atp). this is the second part of this! do not read it unless you have read the previous part! 💗🤭
~ there is a bit of angst here! also, i really tried to keep shidou and character and read loads of analysis for this huhu so good luck to me!! i hope you guys would like it as much as you loved the first part! + reader is a nurse and toxic shidou! 😌 i tried to keep it realistic guys, we all known it's not going to be all rainbow and skittles with shidou in it.
word count: 2k+
fast forward to five years later. five fucking years. you don't know how you made it that far, but somehow, you managed to get yourself out of that hellhole.
well, after finding out that you were pregnant, your initial reaction was to tell your parents about it. you were young and they still paid for your college fees that time, so you know that they have the right to at least hear from you.
as you expected, your parents did not have the best reactions. your dad scolded you— even slapped you, and your mom called you a slut, then they started fighting and blaming each other on whose fault is this.
suddenly, the fact that you're pregnant is no longer about you and the baby, but it's about blaming who was the worse parent between the both of them. your dad blamed your mom for caring too much about her appearance and not paying attention to you, while your mom blamed your dad for not protecting you enough and being around. in actuality, both are horrible.
you swore you'll never want your kid to grow up in this kind of hell you were raised in. that's why you felt so much joy when your parents agreed to help you but they asked you to move out to your grandparents’ house in a far away rural area so people wouldn't see you ‘blowing up like a balloon’ (as what your mom said) and ‘bringing shame to the family’.
luckily, compared to your parents, your grandparents are good people. they comforted you and made sure that you're well-fed during your pregnancy.
you ended up giving birth to a little girl, which you named miyu. she was born with your hair color, pink orbs, and tanned skin. her nose and eye shape weren't yours. you didn't even want to think about who does it remind you of.
it wasn't easy to have her either. miyu was a handful baby and post-partum depression did not sit well with you. but luckily, your grandmother is around.
shortly after that, you decided to go back to college while working part-time. all while miyu was growing. if you didn't have your grandparents, you surely wouldn't be able to survive. they were a huge help to your studies, and in taking care of miyu.
after your studies, you went back to the city to look for a better job as a registered nurse around tokyo. you thanked your grandparents and took your daughter with you.
about shidou… well, you've seen him on TV and he's doing well, winning lots of football games, and even having some dating rumours. you hated every inch of him. you hated how he act all smug and cocky on TV. you hated how he never even tried to contact you after that night. you hated how he did well while you struggled to survive.
the only comfort that you had was miyu's smile. she is a very cheerful child. she's very friendly towards people and she's a social butterfly. the first time you took her to the nursery, she became friends with everyone.
anyway, you're working as a registered nurse around tokyo's biggest hospital. luckily, miyu's preschool is nearby. but with no one to watch over, you would fetch her during your free time and bring her back to your workplace.
“y/n, doctor nishimura needs your assistance in his office in third floor.” your co-worker said and you rushed going there.
when you arrived, you were asked to call the patients’ name in the waiting area and assist in medical check-ups, like taking their height, weight, blood pressure, and etc. it was all good. you were doing just fine. until you saw who the last patient is.
“sh-shidou r-ryusei…” there was a light stutter in your voice as you turned pale, an expression of shock written on your face. it seemed that he's here for some athlete medical checkup or whatever it's called.
the moment shidou saw you, he did not recognize you at first. but seeing how awkward you were while taking his blood pressure, he finally recognized who you are.
“wait, aren't you y/n?” shidou asked then started talking to you like a casual friend who's trying to catch up. you didn't respond well. he told you that he'll be in a 3-month long vacation after winning a huge match in france.
when you were left alone with him as you were asked to assist him althroughout, like going to the cashier and settling payment, (since the doctor said that other patients might harass him since he's famous), he fucking dropped the bomb that made you erupt.
“if you're interested, we could hang out together while i'm in tokyo. like the old times.” he said in a smug voice, obviously hinting to something sexual.
you stopped while walking, looking down. shidou, who only continued, wondered as you stayed that way for seconds. shidou looked at you curiously. he slowly approached you, but your hand seemed to have another plans, giving him a slap on the cheek.
shidou looked at you shocked for seconds while holding his cheek, then his face changed into smirk before he told you “come on, you can't be mad over something that happened years ago, right? what happened to the good girl y/n?” he gave you a menacing look.
but before you could say anything, a small high-pitched voice reached out from your behind. “mommy, i'm hungry!”
seeing your daughter, you left shidou and approached your daughter, carrying her in your arms, telling her how you'd get her some cookies from the pantry.
as your carried miyu in your arms while walking away, shidou could not help it but to stare back at the pink orbs of the little girl which sparked curiosity. that, combined with the little girl's tanned skin and nose— shidou already fucking knew who that little girl is.
after that day, shidou would visit you during working hours. he would go there, trying to ask you to hangout with him, with that permanent smug look that you hated the most.
he did this for the whole afternoon. luckily, today, you were able to hire a babysitter for miyu because you expected to work overtime. you doubt he would leave you alone, not giving you some time to fetch her.
even after your shift, shidou was still there. you got fed up and asked him why the hell is he bothering you during work hours, even telling him to get lost.
but shidou still seemed to be unfazed by you freaking out. instead of saying anything, he just said “awww, don't you want me to get to know your little girl too? are you gonna hog her all by yourself?”
that's when you lost it. you dragged him in the hospital's parking lot and asked him what he truly wants.
shidou asks you to enter his car so you guys could ‘talk more’. thinking that he's just scared of the paparazzis, you agreed to talk with him inside his car with tinted glasses.
when you both sat on the front seats, he waited for you to speak first and you broke the silence.
you told him that you found out that you were pregnant after that night and you didn't get to tell him because he blocked you everywhere on social media. you're mad because he promised that he's going to be with you after but he left without saying anything.
shidou basically just gaslit you and told you that you never tried hard enough like contacting him thru his emails. he even had the guts to victimize himself and say that he felt hurt you never told him.
“just shows how my little y/n won't trust me enough to look after our poor little baby and that makes me sad.”
you rolled your eyes and attempted to get off the car, when shidou held your hand, trying to stop you. you decided to stop and take one last look at him. he holds your hand tighter, but not in a hurting way.
“oh hell nah, y/n. don't do this to me, i'm a changed man, ya know?”
you told shidou that if he's planning to ghost you again, he's never gonna get to know miyu. he is not going to be her first heartbreak. you made it clear to him.
shidou was like, “i know i didn't keep my promise to you, but i'm not a monster to do the same thing to her.”
you still didn't believe him, until he told you that he wants to show how serious he is. “give me your bank account number” but you didn't want to give it to him because of your pride.
but then he started saying “you sure you don't want my help? you were eating a one-dollar ramen during lunchtime. how can you even give what's best if you can't even give yourself anything?”and he said it in a taunting voice. oh boi, all these years and he's still so good at provoking people.
so you ended up giving your bank account details. you received a notification on your phone saying that you just received 7 million yen— about 50k dollars. you looked at him in disbelief.
“also, don't let her wear those ugly floral dresses. buy her something else.”
you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’ altho you didn't really wanna say that but you know you needed to.
both of you agreed on a co-parenting situation. for visits, he would visit your daughter in your apartment every weekend. you wanted those instead of public because paparazzis may spot your daughter. she doesn't deserve that kind of toxicity yet.
first time visiting your apartment, shidou basically roasted your house and bought you a whole apartment just two floors way from his own apartment. “and you said you didn't need my help? i don't think my baby should even live in this place.” you moved in that place a month after he first met miyu.
the first time they met each other… you hate to admit it, but they got along really well. both of them weren't too emotional about it. it was just like two best friends meeting each other and having a lighthearted conversation. you observed miyu and it seems that she's at ease around shidou.
“miyu, that's your dad.” oh boi she ran so fast in his arms and hugged him. luckily, he caught her. since then, the both of them have been talking. miyu liked calling shidou his ‘daddy’. and honestly, shidou was proud of it.
shidou was the fun dad. you'll say ‘no ice cream’ and he's gonna bring your daughter ice cream while you're not around. when you say that she shouldn't eat sweets after brushing her teeth, shidou would just tell her to have some then she can brush her teeth after. so in no time, miyu became a ‘daddy's girl’ while you were the ‘no-fun and strict’ mom (as said by shidou when miyu's not around).
the whole co-parenting setup was okay. but shidou would make advances towards you whenever miyu is not looking. he would flirt with you, saying how your genes looked great when mixed together and sometimes, he would bring up that miyu needs a playmate. you would only roll your eyes at him, saying that you'd rather die than to repeat the same mistake.
it was all peaceful. you were starting to put your trust in him— until you saw a selfie of shidou and miyu all over the news and headlines. it seemed that he posted her on his insta, without your consent.
you did not like that one bit. both of you told each other that if he wants to something like this, he needs to talk to you first. again, shidou forgot to keep up with his word.
with an angry tone, you immediately called shidou and asked to talk to him in private. he asked you to come over to his apartment— and you were hesitant at first, but you agreed. you decided to drop off miyu at the local daycare center, just so the both of you could talk it out.
#💗★ vivi's tots#bllk smut#bllk x reader#bllk x you#blue lock x reader#bllk headcanons#blue lock smut#bllk x y/n#shidou ryusei x you#shidou x you#shidou ryusei x reader#shidou x reader#shidou ryusei x y/n#blue lock headcanons
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Pretty boy.
Nam-gyu ( Player 124 ) x male!reader .ᐟ
warnings : has smut-ish parts, angst(?) insecure male!reader, mlm, drug/alcohol use and more stuff..
tags,, @gongyoosgf @cybrasigilism @paulilvsremus
word count: 9.1k !!
( 1/24 WHICH MEANS HAPPY NAM-GYU DAY Y'ALL!!! AAA AAA AAA sorry for the long waiting!! i wanted to make this one a bit longer than my other fics..and yeah!! hope you guys enjoy it 🫶 i'm sorry it's kinda fucked up..no proofread tho!! )
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ As you make your way home from the hospital, you look at the bags in your hand again. You were doomed to these medicines to keep your body going. You've always hated this and it's been one of the barriers preventing you from accepting yourself..as a man. A man should be strong, masculine and not dependent on anyone else. Nothing else. With an involuntary sigh, you continued on your way. The bus you were supposed to get on passed you, and although it stopped at the bus stop, you didn't quicken your steps and try to catch the bus. You weren't even upset about missing it, the cold air hitting your face made you feel more alive. The ground was wet from the recent rain, and you arrived at the stop listening to the sounds of your boots hitting the water. You reach into your coat pocket and grab your phone to check the time. Your breath makes your phone screen fog up.
Your friend's text message catches your attention and you call her to reply, knowing that she won't see your message.
After waiting a few seconds, she answers the phone and greets you. "Heyy, what's up?" "Hey. You know, the usual stuff..shitty medicines and..all.." You say the last part in a whisper, lowering your voice when you see someone else approaching your stop. "Ohhhh, hospital shit again? Man, hoe can you deal with those everyday?" "Come again?" You hear a buzzing sound from your phone and realize that she has put it on the desk and turned on speakerphone. "I'm sayingggg, you take those tasteless medicines everyday, give tests and stuff and yet..you don't heal. Like, let's be real,," Even though you knew she didn't mean what she said, you couldn't help but sigh because she was telling the truth. "Mhm." After a hum of agreement for her to continue, you glance at the other person next to you, another face you hadn’t seen before. He had one hand in his pocket as he scrolled through his phone, leaning his face on the railing of the bus stop. You couldn't really hear what your friend was saying, her voice kept breaking because she was busy with something in the back and the stranger next to you had drawn your unnecessary attention.
The stranger tilted his head to the side, letting his hair fall over his face. Using his hand in his pocket to fix his hair, then started recording a voice message. "Yeah, yeah I'll take my bus in uh.." His eyes meet yours, he lowers his phone a little and speaks again. "Do you know when next bus will come?" "In 2 minutes or so-" "In 2 minutes, like that guy said." Shaking his head slightly, he drops the voice recording, sighs and puts his phone back in his pocket, opening the front of his coat a little, causing steam to form when his hot breath meets the air.
Unable to take your eyes off him, you turn around, realizing that you have been staring at him for a long time. "Ah- sorry. I wasn't listening.." You whisper to your friend on the other end of the phone, and when you hear a laugh from her, you look down with a slightly embarrassed face. "Yeah, don't worry it was obvious, anyway." Your pupils dilate as her voice on the phone gets louder and what she says gets louder. "I was wondering if maybe we could go to a club, what do you say? We can visit the place where my friend hangs out all the time."
"A club?" Your voice must have come out louder than you intended because you hear the sound of the stranger moving next to you, so you clear your throat and continue speaking. "I mean, sure. When exactly?" You're not a person who can drink, you cannot put anything in your mouth except light things because it affects you too much. But it could still be a good way to clear your head...at least for one night to escape your problems. "This night. You don't have any plans, right?" Of course, you didn't have any plans. You couldn't really have any other plans than going to your apartment and staying there all day. "Sounds good." Before you know it, the bus has already arrived. You raise your head and take a step towards the bus, telling your friend that you will call her later. You get into the same bus with the stranger next to you and take a seat in the back. You place the medicine bag on your lap, putting your hands in the pockets of your coat. Your coat is closed enough to cover your neck and the tip of your nose, so half of your face is not visible.Your hair is slightly fluffed up from the cold air as it hangs slightly in your eyes, and with a sigh you watch the other stranger take a seat near the front.The bus is almost empty with only a handful of people.
When you come home, you reach for your keys to open the door, you hear the sound of the key turning and tiny footsteps approaching. As you close the door behind you, you feel a soft sensation around your feet accompanied by a meowing sound.
"I'm home."
You lean over and pick up your cat as you lazily toss your bags and coat aside; she always loves to greet you. You feel her head rubbing against your neck as she licks your cheeks softly, not bothering to put your shoes away as you walk towards the living room with your cat in your arms. You watch your cat as you slowly place her on the couch, spinning around and sitting down, her tail tucked under her. As a small giggle leaves you, you put your hands on your knees and stand up, heading towards the kitchen to give your pet a treat. You head towards your front door to lock it before heading into the kitchen, taking off your shoes and grabbing your coat and medicine bag. You go back to the kitchen and reach for the cat's treats from the upper cabinets. As you place some in one of the fancy iron containers you bought earlier, you notice that the cat has already come to you. You take the treat from the counter and place it in front of her, leaning back against the counter as you watch her purr and eat her treat. Remembering that you need to call your friend, you start looking for your phone in your pockets, thinking it can be on the couch, you head towards it, reach for your phone and lie down on the couch. You start driving around the house looking for him. It takes a few minutes for her to pick up, so you have to call again. Meanwhile, you've come to your room and you're already trying to decide what to wear. When you hear your friend's voice on the other end of the phone, you turn your attention back to your phone.
"Hiiii!!" "Hi there." You place your phone on your shoulder and look in your closet. Maybe you should wear something more masculine since you're going to the club. "Are you ready yet?" "Uh, not yet. But I'll be." After hearing your friend's voice of approval, the sound of a key catches your attention. She must be leaving the house.
You still hadn’t decided what to wear when she ended the call by saying she would send you the address as a location. "Okay- bye." You gently placed your phone on your bed and your eyes caught a shirt you hadn’t worn before, thinking it was too big. "I could make this work.." After whispering quietly, you start to make your outfit by checking the time, deciding to do your hair last. You played with your hands strangely as you looked in the mirror. You didn't look bad, you seemed to be in good shape. You didn't look official, but... you didn't look homeless either. You just forget about it and reach into your closet for a small hair tie, You put a small ponytail in the back of your hair. Even though it was small enough to be called a ponytail.. it looked cute. You tilted your head to the side and looked at your hair, giggling to yourself as you put the final touches on it and got ready to leave the house. You know, closing the windows.. turning off the lights and checking on your beloved cat.
When you realize that she is already asleep, your doubts are lifted for a moment, at least you won't have to worry about her anymore. You grab your keys and walk out the door, whispering a small 'goodnight' from your lips, and as you close the door you set off on your way. It was a little late, since you went to the club. When you approach the location where your friend sent, you encounter your friend near the door. She greets you by raising her hand. "Hereee!" You quicken your steps a little and come to your friend, taking your hand out of your pocket and giving her a small wave. "Did I keep you waiting?" You ask in a cheerful but low voice. Your friend, who shakes her head in refusal, fixes her hair before going inside, and you are surprised that there is no line while gesturing for you to come in as well.
You follow your friend with your arms crossed, you didn't want to get lost in a place you didn't know, even if it wasn't crowded. She left you alone to find her friend and said she'll come back, leaving you to get the drinks. You sit down in an empty seat, and as your eyes wander to the people inside, you notice that most of them are already drunk. A whistle from behind you draws your attention to the barista in front of you, who was looking at you with one hand on the counter and the other on his hip.
"Hey pretty boy, have you decided what to order?"
Pretty boy? "Uh, anything light." "First time?" "More than that touches me." "Got ya." The barista turns around, slamming his hand on the counter mockingly, you watch him with your full attention as he prepares your drink. Even if you don't pay much attention at first, his face looks familiar. You notice that he's turning his head to someone else and humming something to them while holding your glass in his hand. As you look into your glass, you notice that he has a few rings on his hand. Even though it's something unnecessary, you're intrigued by the fact that he's wearing jewelry. As he turns his attention to you, he taps his tongue and hits the glass with his index finger, making the ring make a sound with the tapping.
He holds the glass out in front of you and speaks in a lower voice. "And..here you go. A white wine spritzer for the new guy." As you thank him and take your drink, you finally figure out why his face looks familiar.
This was the same man you saw at the bus stop. Only now his hair was more.. different. It looked more well-groomed and didn't cover his eyes like it did at the bus stop. As you wrap your hands around your glass, you notice your friend sitting down next to you. Playfully pushing your shoulder, she calls out to the barista for her drink. "Heyy, sup?" "Hey." While he was busy with another drink in his hand, he looks at the two people next to you with an eyebrow raised. Especially to the friend who is the reason you came here. "You are all together?" The person your friend knows tells you that you guys are new here and that she invited you. He bites his lower lip a little and hums in approval. When the drink he was preparing is finished, he leans slightly towards you, placing his elbows on the counter.
"I thought your friends would be crazy like you, but they seemed pretty normal."
His eye points at you, making you flinch for a moment. You listen to their conversation as you take a sip of your drink. "Yeahhh, well you can't know that. Maybe they are crazy, huh?" The person mocking the barista, with her hands on the counter and her head on her knee, also smacks your friend on the arm, causing the two of them to laugh. You could only stare at them as you traced the edge of your glass with your fingertip. You weren't bothered by it, but you couldn't bring yourself to let them get along and you just sit on the sidelines. In a moment of courage, you down the rest of your drink in one go, tapping your glass on the table as you reach up to wipe your mouth, but you notice your friend is looking at you.
Your friend looked at you with a funny look, shouting something at you and disappeared with her friend. "Don't go too far, you already know why!!" The atmosphere got tense for some reason as she left you alone with the barista again. You slowly pass your empty glass towards the man in front of you, a hum coming out of your mouth. "Can I get something.. heavier?" Shaking his head slightly, he returns to his work again. Even though you didn't drink anything heavy yet, you still didn't feel very well. Your stomach hurt a little and your head ached slightly. But you didn't want to drink the same thing over and over. And if you consider that the person in front of you is a man...maybe trying some heavy stuff would be a good experience. Your feet were actually touching the ground, but you stood on your tiptoes to make yourself look taller. You realized your drink was ready when his footsteps approached. This time he didn't say what it was as he handed you a red glass. You weren't very good with drinks, so you couldn't guess. He cocked his head slightly to the side as he looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Don't know what it is?" "No.." "Don't care about it, just drink. It does taste good, so don't worry." He says quickly as he wipes his hand on the apron tied around his waist. After all, you’re not his only customer.
You take a sip and try to guess, was it wine again?
You take another sip, but this time it feels sweeter, like there's something wrong with your taste.
Even if you don't get what it is, you continue drinking because you like the taste. In the meantime, your friend comes to you once again. She's not drunk, but she looks a little... messy..Your friend says she wants to leave early and asks if it's okay with you. At first you want to leave the club with her because it means you'll be alone, but then something tells you to stay. "Nah, I guess I'll stay a bit longer." Your friend gives your arm a gentle squeeze, telling you to be careful. Her friend next to her shouts something before leaving. "Nam-gyu! The guy who came with me will still be here, keep an eye on him!" Even if you don't know who it is at first, you eventually do when the barista raises his hand in acknowledgement.
Maybe you could talk to him since you know his name now. That you saw him at the bus stop and... felt like talking. Maybe it would be better if you don't say the last part. With them leaving completely, you are left alone for a while, thinking about taking out your phone and walking around. In the meantime, the man you were dying to talk to appears in front of you again.
"I see you finished your drink?" "Yeah, just finished." "Want me to make something heavier again? I thought 'more than that touches you'." You feel a slight blush on your face, yes you said that..and yes it really touched you. "Well I'm not the best at the moment but," You put your phone back in your pocket and continue talking. "I wanted to try something new...even though I knew I would get worse." "That's not cool bro." "Huh?" The man in front of you speaks in a ridiculous tone while pointing at several drunk and sober people on the sides. "There are even people who come here and just drink coke, and believe me, they can get crazy drunk." You frown at him, not quite understanding what he's saying. Are you supposed to be offended? "There's no need to waste yourself trying something new." It felt ironic that he was speaking as a barista. After all, it was his job to make and sell drinks.
"And this is coming from a barista, huh?"
He just chuckled at your question and rolled his eyes jokingly. Even though you didn't talk much, you already felt close to him, and it was obvious that he was a fun person.
"Anyway, why you didn't leave with your friends?" The question made you freeze suddenly. How exactly could you say that he was the whole reason you stayed? But you decided that now wasn’t the time to be shy, so you cleared your throat and answered him. "We met before actually, kind of, I saw you at the bus stop." You paused for a moment between sentences and corrected yourself. He blinked and made a face as if he were trying to remember. He must have remembered afterwards because a few words fell from his lips. "Ohh, the guys I asked the bus, yeah?" "Yeah!" "What a confidence. I didn't think you'd be in this club." Oh right..He was still with you when you talked about the club. "Ah- yes, yes.. I didn't think we would..met as well." As you reach out to scratch your neck, your slightly undone hair tie comes into your hand. As you look at the hair tie that has fallen into your palm, your hands go to tie your hair back up when he stops you. "Leave it, this suits you." Coming from someone with long hair, it meant more to you. "If you say so." It occurred to you that it might be getting late, and as you look at your phone in sudden panic, you realize it's past midnight. "Oh, fuck."
"Everything alright?" He asks in a worried and curious tone as you turn off your phone and put it back in your pocket. "Not really- I just didn't realize it was getting this late." "You have plans or something?" This question again.. "No, not at all. I just don't like sleeping late." After nodding his head to show that he understands, he clears his throat by hitting the counter with his hand. "Okay, then. You better get going." "Right, right. Do you guys take cards?" "Sure. Lemme make it for you really quick." You take your wallet out of one of your pockets and hand him your card. After going to a place not too far away and paying, he comes back with a piece of paper along with the card. "All done. And here is my number. In case you'll think about coming here again, let me know so I can get you on my shift, yeah?" "Thanks." You grab the paper with the card and tuck them in your wallet before standing up. After fixing your clothes, you turn your attention to Nam-gyu.
"Talk to you later..Nam-gyu." You said it loud enough for him to hear. Hoping you didn't mix up his name. He looked at you and tried to get your name out of his mouth, but since he didn't know, he just let out a breath and said goodbye to you. "See ya."
As you head home, you look at the paper in your hand. The number was written quickly and the last numbers were a little blurry because the ink hadn't dried yet. Since there were no buses, you preferred to walk, and maybe it would make you feel better. Your stomach still ached and you could feel the drinks you drank stuck in your throat. You were almost at your house when you felt like throwing up. You didn't want to embarrass yourself since there were a few people around. You entered your apartment building with one hand over your mouth, sobbing as you climbed the stairs to your own apartment. The first place you went to when you entered the house was the sink. You looked at yourself in the mirror as you unintentionally threw up the things you drank. Your face was sour because of the taste that remained on the tip of your tongue. "..I knew I shouldn't have had that second glass.." As you’re mad at yourself under your breath, you remember the number he gave you.
You quickly cleaned yourself up, letting the cold water hit your face. You sat down on the dull bathroom floor and picked up your phone. "Let's see.." You carefully write down the numbers and save it in your phone. You want to look at his social media with your save. While you are curiously scrolling through your apps, you notice that there is usually no profile photo, but the profile photo on one of them catches your attention. He looked like when you saw at the stop.. His hair was messier and he was dressed in a nicer style. His tattoos, which you didn't notice at the club, were also visible in his photo. You feel a little ashamed that you found yourself stalking him. What was your problem? Maybe it's his looks..and that he calls you a man.. You get up, shaking off your thoughts. It was obvious that you were going to have no sleep tonight, but you still took a sleeping pill to try your luck. The fact that he was on your mind even though you guys didn't talk for more than a day caused your cheeks to turn pink. Maybe you could have spent your time wandering around the house..even if you wanted to, you couldn't call him at this hour.
Before you knew it, it was already morning, you couldn't say you were doing well. But you weren't too bad either, you checked the time and planned to start your daily routine.
09:00 am
You remember that you need to make breakfast before you sit down at your computer. Of course, you didn't forget your beloved cat either, she woke up before you and had already left her food bowl in front of the kitchen. Thinking of her before yourself, you place the food bowl full of food next to your cat's bed. She gets up excitedly, meowing at you while eating her own food with small chews.
You prepare your own breakfast and get down to work. Since you were working from home, you had nothing to worry about. Well, we could say that you were able to have a comfortable working environment. When it's time for a break, you want to scroll through your phone, and then the number you saved last night catches your attention. "Nam-gyu.." As you silently read his name with your lips, you thought it would be a good idea to call him. Maybe you could say a 'what's up man?' or just..have a little chat. After a swallow, you wait for him to pick up the call. And after a few seconds later, you hear a voice on the other side of the phone. "Hi?" "Hey there." "Do I know you?" Oh right. Your number wasn't saved on his phone. "I-it's me. From last night- remember? The guy you talked to?" While you're hoping for him to recognize you, you feel momentarily uneasy when the person on the line remains silent. "Ohh- yeah, the one I gave my number. What's up?" "Yes, that one. Just wanted to say hi while I'm on my break." He speaks after clicking his tongue. "Sweet, I'm still at home. you must have guessed I'm on the night shift. Shitty night shifts.."
"Actually, I'm at home too, I mean- because I work from home." There was a slight edge in your voice. Like he was going to judge you. But right now, he seemed to be in a good mood. Before he can respond, you quickly add something else. "It didn't seem very busy yesterday actually?" "You think like that. Do you have any idea how hard it is to deal with drunk sons of bitches?" After a small chuckle, he continues. "Especially when their own whores are with them." You didn't expect his mouth to be like..this.
"Yeah.. right." After a small hum comes from the end of the phone, you ask him to repeat it. "You're up tonight?" "Up?" "Down for getting drunk, duh." He continues his speech while assuming a tone of voice as if he had just remembered something. "You can't drink too much, can you? After they left, I got a message from my friend not to give you any shit that's heavy." God, this is embarrassing. Yeah, what they said was true, but saying it like that made you feel less of a... man. A few unexpected words escaped from your lips as you involuntarily nodded his approval. "But I still wanted to try." "Is that soooo.." "Yeah." There was silence between you for a few seconds, then he replied with a sound as if Nam-gyu was sucking his teeth. "Hell..you'll stay with me, though? With the promise of leaving if you get any bad feeling." "Promise."
The night went better than expected. Nam-gyu turned out to be a bit more foul-mouthed than you thought, but he still kept in touch with you. You two drank together him without leaving your side. There was one scene that you couldn't forget, especially on your way back home.
While drinking together, everyone raises their glasses, and when you’re the last one not to raise your glasses, Nam-gyu grabs your shoulder and pulls you towards him. "Don't be shy, pretty boy. Come onnn, cheersss!" You thought he didn't realize what he was saying because he was half drunk, but you wanted to bring it up in your conversation the next day. Although it has been a few days since you met him, you spent your days hanging out with him. You were talking to him on the phone again, telling him how your night went and stuff. "Right, right. Good thing that you weren't drunk enough to start hitting on others. Hell, you'd look hilarious." Hilarious? "Why did you say that now.. I'd not." "Yeah-uh, you would. We hung out together all night anyway, glad you enjoyed the night." "Ah- yep. Thanks." You almost forgot what you had to ask for a second, he would go silent sometimes because he was having breakfast.
"You called me pretty boy, though."
"Hm?" After finishing the mouthful, he speaks again.
"Fuck, I did? I mean, it's true but I don't remember saying it."
So he actually meant it. "Isn't it normal because you were drunk?" Oh yeah, definitely.. it's also normal for him to be all over you because he was drunk. "Yeahhh..anyway. You feel any good?" "Mhm, pretty good." Mentally? Yes. But physically, honestly speaking, you were a mess. You hadn't been taking your medication regularly for a few days, and you especially didn't touch your medication the day you went out drinking. You didn't even have the energy to take a shower as soon as you got home and threw yourself into bed. But you still couldn't give up on this feeling. The way he talked to you and the way you felt more manly when you were with him.
The cheerful voice you hear before you hang up the phone makes your heart stop for a moment. "See ya around man." And just like that the call ends. You smile to yourself as you place the phone back on your lap.
You continued going out with him like this for the last few weeks, until one day you tried something a little heavier. You saw him take drugs while you were drinking. And this time he offered you a little too. His eyes were half-closed and his bangs were stuck to his face. You two weren't actually inside the club, you had already left a couple mins ago. You were standing on a bench at the side of the street. The cold air hit your face and you weren't exactly drunk, you had chosen to drink less. Despite that, your stomach ached and you weren't feeling very well. He held a slightly crushed pill in his hand, extending his palm towards you. "Take some." "Uh, no. I'm good." "Ugh. Take it." He brings his palm towards your lap, urging you to take it. You think again, involuntarily taking it from his hand. You feel like throwing up for a moment and go to cover your mouth with your free hand. Nam-gyu moves closer to you, placing his hand on your knee as he tilts his head slightly to the side. He hiccups a few times as he tries to understand what’s going on. You take your hand off your mouth and turn your head to the man next to you. He was watching your face with his mouth slightly open. The moment you turn to him, he can't help but laugh a bit.
"Fuck it, one time wont hurt." Still indecisive, you look at his face. When he realized you weren’t going to do it on your own, he lazily grabbed your hand and popped the pill into his own mouth, chewing it a few times. You were so focused on the sound of the pill breaking that you didn't realize his lips brushed against yours until a little sound came from him. After feeling a few pieces of dust in his mouth, he pulls back from you, his head hitting your shoulder before he returns to a sitting position with his head down. Your eyes widened as you felt your cheeks turning pink. You were practically awake as he sat next to you as if nothing had happened.
You looked at him, swallowing hard, and opened your mouth to say something. But you didn't want to press the issue, you knew he wouldn't remember what he said because he was already so high. Or what he did.
But you would be lying if you said you weren't high either. You weren't feeling very well and your head was spinning. You were either going to stay here numb, or you were going to go home. You weren’t going to sleep in the middle of the street. So you struggled to get up and held Nam-gyu’s hand. He threw a curious look at you and tried to get up as well, laughing to himself as he fell onto your back. Hell, you two were high as fuck. He didn't keep his mouth shut, asking you ridiculous questions as you two headed towards your apartment. Nam-gyu, who threw himself on the couch as soon as you entered, was in a much worse state than you. To wake up you either had to take a shower or go to sleep like him. Nam-gyu didn't sleep even though he was on the couch. He doesn't make a sound while looking at your sobbing figure. "I'm gonna take a..bath. You stay there." He put his head on the edge of the couch and makes eye contact with you. He closed his eyes and made a gesture of approval. This way you go to your own room...good thing you have a personal bathroom.But when you start taking off your clothes, some footsteps catch your attention. As you take off your seat belt, you notice that the door is slightly open.
"Man..fuck this shit my head hurts like hell.." He speaks to you as he struggles to stand. He must be starting to wake up a little, but you doubt he's still conscious. "Mhm..what about taking a hot shower?" "..Hot shower?" "Yeah." He sits on the edge of your bed, one hand playing with his hair as he walks into the room. You keep your hands still on your belt, finally catching Nam-gyu’s attention as you throw it onto the bed. He gives you a look that you can't understand. But your mind is still stuck on the warm feeling of his lips on yours. You don't want to take your pants off in front of him, suddenly you turn your attention to the bathroom with the sound of water overflowing and say a few words to him. "The left door at the end of the hallway is the bathroom.. I think you should take a shower too." He makes a sniffling sound and then his eyes move from your hands to your face. Without saying anything, he leaves the room and heads to the bathroom.
With him gone, you can finally go to the bathroom. But the thought of what would you do if he didn't leave eats you alive. Would you really take it off in front of him? You pray to god he left. Taking a shower really did feel good, just like you thought it would. The warm water hitting your skin made you felt more alive. Especially after smoking it, you thought you wouldn't find yourself at home. You head towards the living room in your pajamas, the wet drops in your hair soaking your shoulders. Nam-gyu had already left the bathroom before you and was letting his hair combs dry on the edge of the couch. His eyes were watching the ceiling, and he lifted his head slightly when he noticed you coming.
"Finally." With a sigh, he raises his hands to tuck the hair behind his ears. You realize his rings are gone, they were lined up on the table along with his phone.
"My bad, it took me a bit to..feel better." After muttering to him with a guilty conscience, Nam-gyu pats the back next to him, gesturing for you to come over. "Yeah whatever man.. come on." As you sit next to him and watch his movements, you realize that he is waking up with difficulty. He would close his eyes from time to time and open them again as if he had woken up from sleep. Suddenly, you remembered your medication. Maybe it would be better for your health to get a few. "Oh, wait-" You reach out from the couch and pick up a bag that's on the table. "What's that?" Nam-gyu spoke more soberly. "My medications..I haven't taken them for a long time." As you look at the pills, you remember that moment again, you hoped to get better by taking your medication. Nam-gyu speaks lazily as he looks at the pills in your hand. "Is there anything that helps with headaches?" "Yeah." You lift one of the few pills left on your right and wave it in the air. As you come to him with a glass of water in your hand, he throws his head on the couch and glares at you. He waits for you to put the pill in his mouth with his mouth slightly open, and when you hand him the glass of water, he swallows the pill dryly, shaking his head. "No need." You put the water in your hand aside and hold on to the couch with your hands. You tilt your head to the side and look at the face below you.
His eyes were probing your face as if he was going to eat you alive. One hand comes to your face, pinching your nose he speaks in a low voice. "Like what you see? Heh." You frown at him and back away from the couch. You decide it’s a good idea to change clothes since your wet hair has completely soaked your shoulders.
You walk towards your room and take off your clothes. Before you can put on another t-shirt, you feel two hands grab your bare arms. You turn your head, startled by the cold feeling. Nam-gyu’s eyes roam over your body as his muscles twitch slightly in response to your reaction. "Were you always that..skinny?" You step forward and try to ignore what he says. Either he was high or he was seriously trying to get close. The first option seems like it might be more realistic for you. He stayed at your apartment that night. And even if you didn't want to admit it, he was acting closer to you. He would call you in the morning with his sleepy voice and ask about your plans, and when he came across ridiculous customers, he would send you messages about them.
"Someone just picked the drink that he threw up, fucking weirdoooo.."
"I mean seriously, people have no taste when it comes to drinking..."
He even agreed to come to the hospital with you. Even though he accompanied you to drink, he also cared about your health sometimes. One day when the weather was rainy and cold, he offered to pick you up with his car. You had been in his car a few times already, so you knew where he usually parked. You practically ran out of the apartment, holding Nam-gyu's hand as you quickly walked in the rain to find the car. "Wait, wait— it's not like the car is gonna run away." Before you could even guess, you fell to the ground because of the wet floor, and he fell on top of you, causing all the water on the ground to splash onto you two. You could hear him swearing under his breath, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he stood over you, supporting himself with his hands. "Asshole- look at me. I'm all soaked." But you couldn't answer him, the sound of the rain falling and the water dripping from the ends of his hair onto your cheeks..he just looked so stunning. His wet eyelashes made it hard to see his eyes, but the way he looked at you was priceless. You could see your own reflection in his pupils, and you couldn't help but notice his rising and falling chest. Your body was moving without you realizing it, your hands cupping his cheeks as you lowered his face towards yours, letting your lips taste each other. His cold lips were trembling against your warm ones. You couldn't hear any sounds, as if he had forgotten to breathe. After you pulled away, he just stared at you. He stared at you in surprise for a few seconds, as if he hadn't kissed you before.
"..Holy shit, dude." Your cheeks quickly begin to heat up as you realize what you've done. You pull yourself up and try to stand up. "Oh god- S-sorry. It just, happened. I swear-" He responded with a mocking look at you as his hands rested next to your shoulders. "Yeah?" "Y-yeah! Please just forget about it, youjustlookedsogood, I couldn't-"
"Shut up and get in the car, dude."
"Okay.."
When you two got into the car, you felt very strange in the seat next to you, a feeling like you were never close before filled you. Nam-gyu’s voice makes you swallow your words as you were taking a deep breath to explain yourself. "It was obvious that you were interested in that kind of shit but, fuck dude. I didn't think you would do it with me." "Huh?" "I mean, even your look gives it away." The words hit you in the face as if you had been beaten. You felt like you were sinking into the ground as you stared at him with your pupils constricted. Nam-gyu lets out a sigh of relief, combing his hair back with one hand as he smiles at you sarcastically. "Hah..did you like it though?" "What?" "The kiss." Pursing his lips, he makes a kissing sound, and responds to you by tilting his head to the side. "You liked it?" You don’t answer him and just stare at the side window of the car. An embarrassed expression covers your face as you realize he's muttering something under his breath.
"We still have time..wanna do it?"
"..Do what?"
You understood right after that second what he meant with the sly look he threw at you. He was fucking hard. When you came home you were not only wet but also... sticky. You limped a little as you walked into the your apartment, the scene in the car coming back to you as you noticed the sticky liquid on your t-shirt, and the corner of your lip was still bleeding slightly. "Did you really have to bit my lip..that hard?" "It's ridiculous that you talk as if your voices didn't fill the car." "Shut up!" After playfully punching him on the shoulder, you left to take a shower. When you looked at yourself in the mirror in your bedroom, you felt your eyes flutter for a moment. But you ignored it and headed towards the bathroom anyway. As you can imagine, this wasn't your first time. He would try to have a quickie with you whenever he got the chance. And you were completely off your medication. Other than taking pills just to sleep, you wouldn't take anything else except the pills Nam-gyu gave you. And your relationship continued like this for a few months. During that time Nam-gyu 'borrowed' a lot of money from you. Not enough to put you in debt but.. there wasn't nothing he wouldn't do to get high. But as your relationship became more formal..you felt like people were starting to judge you. Not for being with a man, but for being with him. Almost everyone who knew him was astonished and asked how you managed to endure him. I mean..yeah he wasn't the best. But he had taken your first time and you had never felt this comfortable with anyone before. Plus, even if you were physically shit, he made you feel good. Was that even possible?
You even got matching tattoos together. He got a butterfly tattoo and you got a bloody rose tattoo to represent him. He always loved your chest. The feeling of being able to feel your bones when he touched it gave him a pleasure he couldn't describe. That's why you had it done on the left side of your chest. He had it done on his left arm, so that it would be visible, like the other tattoos. But all good things must come to an end, right? Especially if you're not a healthy person. Even though you liked how it was.. sometimes your body couldn't handle it. Pushing yourself too hard would make you feel weak in the coming days.
Because of this, you couldn't even see Nam-gyu at all sometimes, you couldn't even reply to his messages. You had become unable to leave your house. You had to give up your beloved cat to your friend and go back on your medication to get better. You were so glad your partner cared about you. You even felt guilty at times because you felt like a burden to him. But...the things you heard about him were starting to make you doubt yourself. And that one voice message you heard was the final straw.
"Him? Yeah, he feels good and all, but...sometimes you know. I feel like a woman would be good too."
That voice message your friend sent you left you shaking in your bed. The fact that it was a drunk voice message tore you apart even more. Maybe he didn't mean it like that? He's doing something to get high almost every night anyway, so maybe he's not talking about you- or maybe he's faking it or something? But him calling you out of the blue in the morning corrected your suspicions. Actually, you had already confirmed this with the message your friend sent you at night. 'I told you so. You can't trust him at all..' You don't answer his phone at first, but then you notice the message he sent you in your notifications. He was asking if you were home. Of course you were home.. But you didn't want to look at his message. You weren't in the mood to talk right now and especially didn't want to hear his voice. How could you trust him now? How could you know he wouldn't lie to stay with you? This time he called you again. When you answered he spoke in a louder tone than you intended. "What the fuck do you think you're doing by not answering your phone, motherfucker?" "I don't wanna talk." "NAH. You're gonna talk. I'm almost at your apartment- don't make me open the door." His voice sounded like he was growling at you, it was obvious that he was mad. You panic when the phone is hung up on you, and as scenarios run through your mind about what he was planning to do, you jump out of your bed when you hear a knock on the door. Swallowing hard, you walked towards the door without bothering to ask who is it. It was obvious who it was anyway. Nam-gyu’s hand grabs the edge of the door as you nervously open it, making you flinch. As you back away from the door, he walks in, closing the door behind him.
"To the living room, now." You frown at him and direct your steps towards the living room. He watches you sit on the couch as he throws his phone on one of the couches. Nam-gyu doesn’t say anything at first as he stands, cracking his knuckles. "The worst shit always happens to me, fucking god."
"But you were the one who said those things?" "And?" Was he serious about what he said just now..He didn't even deny what he said. "You know, you said you didn't want to be with ME- after everything I had done for you!" You shifted your position on the couch and raised your tone towards him. You had every right to be as angry as you wanted right now.
Rolling his eyes, he put a hand over his mouth and sighed as he gave you an answer. "Don't act like I've never done anything to you, now..." He continued, his voice softer. "You know how I am with other people...we were just messing around, I was drunk." You didn't want to answer him. You chose to stay silent. Maybe what he meant wasn't such a bad thing after all?He approached you with his expression unchanging, one hand on the couch and the other holding the end of your hair as he spoke in a low tone. "Yes, yes.. you're always right pretty boy. Forgive me, let's forget about that, yeah?" You knew exactly what he was doing. He didn't even try to cover up what he was doing..
You responded with a tone that indicated that it was unintentional. He might have the upper hand over you, but that didn't always mean you would obey him. "Really? Isn't that what you always do... to make up for your mistakes by covering them with the pleasure you give me?" You clearly hear him click his tongue, and he bites his lip lightly, showing you that signature smile again. ".. Exactly, you know me so well..I'm kind of embarrassed." His hands have already moved down to your thighs before you even notice. His eyes slowly drift down as his thumbs play with the elastic of your sweatpants. "Come on...just for this once. You know how much I love you, right?" Oh how you loved his words..his choice of words was driving you crazy. It was like all your anger was gone in an instant. You took a deep breath and mumbled one last sentence under your breath.
"Y-you're right.." As your eyes follow his fingers, you watch the sweatpants fall down from your waist. He lowers his hand, which was playing with your hair to your chest, making you lean back into the couch.
"..But I should admit. I hate how you can do both." His breathing becomes heavy as his eyes roam over your bare skin, and he says the words in between breaths. "Hate how you're pretty as a woman and..attractive as a man. I can feel drunk just by looking at you." You were melting under his touch and words, he must have noticed you were getting hard because he already had you in his grasp. Nam-gyu felt himself harden as the tiny moans coming out of your mouth filled his ears. He pulls his hand from your tent and lays you down completely on the couch, your arms falling around your face as you suddenly feel his hardness against yours. One hand cups your face to brush the hair off your forehead, while the other runs across your bare skin.
"What do you think..will you last for a few rounds?" You turn your face to the side, not wanting to make eye contact during it. "..Maybe." but he stops you with his hand and whispers one last thing.
"Nuh uh..don't take your charming eyes off me..pretty boy."
okay so ngl i wanted to add MOREE stuff, but i choosed today as the deadline cuz of the date..haha..anyway. please tell me if there's any typos cuz, no proofread..
#i'm so nervous help me#nam-gyu#nam gyu#player 124#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game 2#squid game x reader#nam gyu x reader#imagines#squid game smut#squid game angst#x male reader
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HEYAA
can i request a nsfw fic with hyun-ju x fem!reader where they have pent up hate with eachother and they hatefuck? and PLEAS PLEASE dom!hyun-ju!!
THANK YOU🫶🫶
I love this request! Although who tf could hate Hyun-ju?! Certainly not me. She's my wife! But I shall do my best✋🏻😌 this is longer than what was probably wanted but I was BORED.
NOT SO HATEFULL AFFECTION
Summary: The request listed above.
Warnings: SMUT, dirty talk, jealousy, enemies to lovers ... mentions of death, kind of slow burn.
Not an adult? Don't read.🔞
You watched as player 120 pressed the O, therefore voting to stay. She even has the audacity to look at Young-Mi as she walked to the blue side.
You caught her looking at you, and you gave her the meanest glare you could muster, making her look down a bit. Young-Mi stepped closer to you, looking up at you with those sad eyes before begging the players to let her go home, making you all the more upset at Hyun-ju.
When you and Young-Mi walked back to Ms. Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik's bunks, you glared scoffed as you saw Hyun-ju already sitting there. What a bitch, sitting with the people she betrayed.
You sat in front of her, with your back facing her. Young-Mi sat next to you, her eyes downcast to the floor. You almost cried at the sight, gently reaching over and holding her hand. "Everything will be okay, Young-Mi. I promise." You say to her softly, making her nod tearfully.
Hyun-ju obviously heard you because you can see her look away in shame from the corner of your eyes.
When Ms. Geum-Ja and her son return, the older woman asks Hyun-ju why. Why she would vote to stay and watch more people die.
You notice some of Young-Mi's tension eases at Hyun-ju's explanation. Telling Hyun-ju that she was beautiful, she even began calling her Unnie again. But not you. You couldn't shake the betrayal, even though you knew deep down, Hyun-ju wasn't being selfish. She wanted to be comfortable in her own skin.
So why did her betrayal hurt so much?
You could feel her gaze on your back, but you didn't acknowledge it, or her, in anyway.
The time for lights out came, and you lay on your uncomfortable bed. You can't get her explanation out of your head. You felt bad for being upset, but at the same time, fuck her, you know?
You practically jump out of your skin as you hear a soft voice from behind you.
"Y/n?" Hyun-ju says, making you tense. No. You weren't talking to her. You ignore her, hoping she'll think you're asleep. You hear her shuffle closer before you feel your bed dip. She's sitting by your legs.
She fiddles with her hands, like she usually does when she's nervous. "I-I know you're awake, Y/n, and I know you don't want to talk to me. I understand." She sniffles, making you slightly role your eyes. Crying wasn't going to make you forgive her.
"I'm so sorry." She whispers. "I knew I made a mistake the second I saw you and Young-Mi." She says. "I promise that in the next vote, I'll vote to leave." She says, hoping to make things right.
You turn your body, finally looking at her, your eyes cold. "In the next vote? What if you're dead by then? Huh? What if I or Young-Mi are dead by then? Or Ms. Geum-Ja or Yong-Sik? Christ, even Jun-Hee! She's fucking pregnant! Does surgery really mean more to you than our lives?" You ask her, giving her a tearful glare.
"You don't understand." She says softly, giving you pleading eyes. "You're right. I don't. I'll never understand how someone could be so cruel."
"Y/n please, I-I" you inturupt her. "Go fuck yourself, Hyun-ju." Turning back around, your back facing her once more.
You hear her sniffle as she walks away.
You all head to the next game, the others acting as if nothing happened. You listen as she apologizes to Young-Mi on the staircase, feeling a little hurt that the younger girl forgives her so easily.
You stand far away from her as Mingle begins. Even as she says that your group should stick together.
"SIX"
The voice says, making everyone scramble to find a group. Your group only had five until Hyun-ju grabbed the crazy witch lady, making six.
Running into a yellow room, you pant, a little put of shape. But everyone is safe. As you lean your body down, your hands gripping your knees, you feel a gentle hand rubbing your back soothingly.
Looking up, you see it's Hyun-ju. You quickly move away.
You step back as the shamen lady comes towards you.
"I know what festers in your lustful heart. There's no out running it. I suspect you'll give in any time now." She says, her eyes naturally crazy.
You look at her. "The fuck." You say, making Yong-Sik laugh, in return his mom hits his arm.
The door unlocks, and round 2 starts, then round 3, then round 4.
"EIGHT"
The voice shouts. You, Young-Mi, Yong-Sik, Ms. Geum-Ja, Hyun-ju, Jun-Hee, Dae-Ho, and Gyeong-Seok all bolt to another yellow colored door, but there was already a group of people in there, you all look over when Hyun-ju shouts that she found an available room.
Running as fast as you all can to the green room, you let out a yelp as another player knocks you down. You quickly get up, looking around for your group, scared as the timer is at 7 seconds.
"Y/n!" You hear Hyun-ju yell, and you watch in horror as she races towards you, leaving behind everyone in the green room, when Gi-Hun and Young-il run into the room, making Eight, Hyun-ju quickly drags you to another one, one wich thankfully needed two other players, as soon as you both got it, the timer ran out.
She saved you. But at what cost. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" you scream at her, not caring about the other players in the room. "THEY WOULD HAVE DIED! YOU SELFISH FUCK!" You yell, hitting her chest. She allows it. Maybe if you let out some of that pent-up anger, you would feel better.
"I saved you. You wanted me to just leave you behind?" She asks, clearly irritated. "YES! Everyone would have died, Hyun-ju! EVERYONE."
"They didn't. And you're still breathing. That's all that matters." She says, making you falter. She goes to hold your hand, but you pull it back.
After the doors unlock, you quickly hug Young-Mi, apologizing to everyone for almost causing them to lose.
The final round begins.
"TWO"
The voice says, you look to Young-Mi, but she's already being dragged away by Gyeong-seok. You let out a sound of surprise as Hyun-ju picks you up, racing to an empty room.
She holds the door, making sure no other players get in. You're slightly shaken. The stress finally getting to you. You hear the door lock and Hyun-ju catches her breath. "Are you okay?" She asks softly, this time you nod, no hostility.
You look at her tearfully. "T-Thank you" she just gives you a reassuring smile.
Back at the bunks, you're zoned out, not really paying attention to what Ms. Geum-Ja is saying. You slightly jump as you feel someone touch your shoulder, looking up, it's Yong-Sik. "You gonna eat that?" He asks, eyeing your kimbop.
Thankful for the laugh, you hand it to him. You don't have an appetite anyway.
Hyun-ju gives you a disapproving look, walking over and sitting down next to you. She holds up her food, offering you some, you just shake your head, making her scoff.
"Stop being so stubborn, take it." She says. You just shake your head once more. "M'not hungry." You whisper, your voice a bit horse.
The guards make an announcement that it's time to use the bathroom, the woman go first. You walk behind Hyun-ju.
Some women give her strange looks, but Ms. Geum-Ja is quick to shut that shit down. You don't even use the bathroom, only sitting and crying silently. Letting out some of the fear and anger you have.
Not realizing that almost everybody was gone. Almost everybody. Hyun-ju gently knocks on the stall door. "Y/n, are you okay?"
You quickly wipe your tears. "I'm fine," you lie. You can hear her sigh. "Are you decent?" She asks, making your eyebrows furrow. "Umm yes?"
You're baffled at how easily she gets the door open. You're about to question her before she kneels in front of you.
You tense as she reaches up and caresses your cheek, wiping away all the tears you missed. "It's okay, sweet girl." She whispers, which causes more tears to form in your eyes.
Your lip quivers. "D-Do you promise?" You ask, your voice trembling. She gives you a questioning look. "Do I promise what, sweetness?"
You sniffle. "Do you promise you'll vote to leave this time?" She visibly melt. "I promise, Y/n."
"I'm still angry with you." You say, a small pout on your lips, making her smile softly.
"Let me make it up to you?" She asks, making you cock your head.
"How are you going to do th-" She inturupts you, pressing her lips gently to yours. You pull away with a gasp as you feel her tongue trace your bottom lip. "What are you doing?!" You whisper.
"I'm making it up to you. Let me make you feel good, sweet girl. You deserve it." You back away as she tries to kiss you again."You can't just expect me to forgi-" She kisses you again. This time, her tongue makes its way into your mouth.
You pant as she kisses her way down your neck, her hands reaching to the bottom of your shirt marked 005. "Can I take this off, Sweetness? Hmm? We don't have much time." She says, her voice lustful. You nod quickly.
Your shirt is discarded on the floor, and she takes in the sight of your breasts in your dark purple bra. She waists not time ripping it off, literally. Making you gasp! "Hyun-ju! I can't get another one!" She only chuckles. "Good, that means I'll get to enjoy the view until we get out of here."
Your head rolls back as she suckles one of your nipples, only to wince as she bites gently. "Don't look away, pretty girl, if you look away I'll stop." She says firmly.
You huff, but keep your eyes trained on her. "I hate you and your porcelain cap teeth," you mumble as she bites down again.
"Be nice to me, baby. Or I'll treat you like the brat you are." She says making you roll your eyes in return. She doesn't like that.
"Stand up, put your hands in the seat, and bend over," She says, standing up herself. "Ew no, that's unsanitary-" She pulls you up, putting you in the position she wants. "Count" She says.
"W-what?" You ask, but yelp as she suddenly spanks your ass. "Ow! What the f-"
"I said count." She growls.
....."one"
When she reaches 10 you almost start crying, she's fucking strong.
"Are you going to be a good girl? Or do you want some more?" She asks, rubbing the cheek she just spanked. "I-Ill be a good girl!" You say quickly. You can't even imagine how much more it would've hurt if she had pulled your pants down.
As a reward, she slowly reaches her hand to the front of your pants. "Is this okay?" She whispers, making you nod. Her hand slowly goes past the barrier of your panties.
"You're so wet." She chuckles. "The little brat is a masochist." You blush, and gasp as you feel her fingers start to rub circles on your clit, but whine when she stops.
She only turns you around, guiding your back against the stall wall and putting her hand right back into your panties.
God, she's good with her fingers....but you won't feed her ego by telling her that. You let out a small moan, closing your eyes, relishing in the pleasure.
She quickly stops again. "What did I say about looking away?" She asks, her voice firm.
You whine, quickly opening your eyes. "I-Im sorry!" She gives you a glare.
"You will be." She says as she pulls down her pants, revealing her cock. Your eyes widen. How the actual fuck was THAT supposed to fit inside you.
"Take off your pants, and pull down your panties. Now." She commands and you do.
You're a little shy when pulling down your panties and slow, so she yanks them down. Putting them in her pocket. "These are mine now." She says darkly.
She waists no time, slapping her thick cock against your clit. "F-Fuck, please!" You say, giving her a pleading look.
She pushes only the tip in before taking it back out, repeating that until you're practically crying. "Please!" She chuckles. "You want my cock, don't you baby?" She asks, leaning down to nibble at your neck. "Yes y-yes please Hyun-ju!" You beg.
Your breath is knocked out of your lungs as she gives one thrust forward, bottoming out in one stroke. Fuck she was big. You felt so full.
"What's the matter, sweetness? Hmm?" She mocks as she pulls alost all the way out, slamming back in. "FUCK!" You scream, already knowing she's going to bruise your cervix.
"You're such a slut. Letting an older woman fuck you." She says, moaning into your ear. You cling to her, thinking it wasn't fair that you were the only naked one.
You go to beg, but only whimpers escape your lips. "Oh poor baby, I've already fucked you dumb. Hmm?" She mocks, reaching down to rub your clit.
"You've been such a good little slut for me, go ahead...show me how much you love my cock. Cum for me." She says, her voice pure sex. "F-Fuck H-Hyun-ju!" You say as you get closer and closer.
"Cum for me Y/n. Now." She says as her thrusts start to get sloppy. When she leans down, taking your nipple into her mouth once more, you let go. Screaming in ecstacy as you clench around her twitching cock.
"Fuck yeah baby, just like that" She says, finding her own release inside you.
You both pant as you calm down. She reaches for the toilet paper, gently cleaning you up, helping you pull your pants back up, and putting your shirt back on.
"W-Wait my underwear!" You say, making her smirk. "I told you...those are mine now."
I got this request a HOT minute ago, but I hope this delivers 🙏🏻😭 I tried to make it as hateful as I could ✋🏻💀
#cho hyun ju x reader#cho hyunju#hyun ju x reader#hyunju#hyun ju#squid game 2#squid game#cho hyun ju
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Who Knew the Impact of Four Words?
Paring: Gojo x Long Term Girlfriend! Reader
Summary: After a few long years, he finally decides to ask the question
Warnings: Maybe the smallest bit suggestive?,
Author's Note: Hey guys so this is my first fanfic that I'll be writing upon my return. I'm really excited about this one I think it's very cute and fluffy, maybe a little comedic. I hope you guys enjoy it if people even read fanfiction anymore lol. Feel free to leave any feedback!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You busy tonight? ;)"
The words lit up on my phone from a familiar contact: satoru <3.
"Depends who's asking:
Sorcerer 'I have a mission for you' Gojo, or my boyfriend Gojo?"
I respond as I laugh to myself. We both worked at Jujutsu High together as teachers. It doesn't take long for my phone to light up with a response.
"Ur bf ;)))"
"Then yes"
"Be there at 8 wear something nice pretty girl"
I smile to myself. I was planning on a quiet night tonight, one where I just fill out some paperwork and grade some tests while I watch some movie I've seen a thousand times. I wasn't expecting to see him tonight as he was on some important mission that only he can do. He must've finished early I think to myself. Of course he did he's Satoru Gojo. I sigh and get up from the couch which I was sitting on and look at the clock.
7:01
Less than an hour to get ready. I walk over to my room closet and search for something nice to wear. Whatever that means. I search through my closet in search of something high enough for his expectations and after much debate I settle on a long flowy skirt decorated with small flowers and a dark colored blouse. I move to the mirror taking in my appearance.
"Good enough"
I think as I move to the mirror and sit down as I start working on my hair and makeup. I decide on touching up my makeup that I wore to work today and adding a few minor details. I'm just finishing putting my long curly hair up into a half-up half-down look when I hear a familiar knock pattern at the door. I open it, already knowing who it is. He looks me up and down and kisses me softly on the cheek, moving his lips to my ear and whispering softly.
"You look so beautiful, princess"
I smile and he drags me away. I ask him where we're going but he only responds with vague, open-ended answers as he smiles foolishly as he always does. I shake my head and smile softly as he leads me to wherever it is he intends on taking me.
"Satoru tell me where you're taking me, you know how much I hate surprises"
"And you know how much I love surprising you"
He laughs to himself as he responds. He seems overly joyful for someone who just got back from a mission. We keep walking and eventually I give up asking him and just resort to following him wherever it is we're going. He leads me to a building in the middle of the city and takes me up the elevator.
"Cover your eyes" he whispers to me playfully. I can tell he's really excited although I'm not sure why. I decide to give in to him and cover my eyes sarcastically.
"Not like that" he whines and adjusts my hands so they're better shielding my eyes. I laugh.
"But Satoru I can't see at all"
"Don't worry I'll guide you"
The elevator doors open and he pulls my arm forward. I follow him slowly and hesitantly, not wanting to trip and embarrass myself. He leads me forward and then stands behind me, pressing against my back. His arms rest on my hips and trail up my sides until he reaches my shoulders. He presses his hands on my shoulders and pushes my arms away from my eyes. I open my eyes looking around.
"Surpriseeeee" Gojo whispers in my ear softly. I can hear the smile in his voice.
We're on the rooftop of a building. The view is beautiful: the lively night life of Tokyo surrounds and encompasses us. There's a small round table in the middle of the open patio with a fancy white table cloth and softly dimming lights surrounding us.
"Satoru...." I trail off in awe.
"Like it?" I smile and nod my head. I wrap my arms around his neck and say softly.
"What's the occasion?"
"Does there need to be an occasion?" he asks cheekily.
He leads me to the table and pulls out the chair for me to sit down and then takes the seat opposite of my own and we begin to talk. I haven't seen him for a couple of days due to his mission, so we have a few things to catch up on. We discuss his students and my own along with new curriculum and updates on the students' mission and training statuses. I notice him growing more nervous which is very out of character for him.
"You don't have to worry you know, Megumi is progressing more than satisfactory. He'll be fine." I grab his hand reassuringly, completely unaware of what's about to happen this evening. His eyes soften as he looks at me and he chuckles.
"It's not that Y/N"
I look at him confused wondering what it could be that has him so nervous. I stare at him trying to figure him out but he just stays silent and smiles at me softly as he stares into my eyes. Hmm. Something's off I can feel it, I just can't seem to put my finger on it. He sighs and snaps me out of my thoughts, reaching into his pocket slowly.
"Y/N...." he trails off. My mind jumps to a million conclusions, and I finish his sentence before he has the chance to.
"You want to stop seeing each other?"
His eyes widen in shock, and he stutters a little.
"W-what? No why would you- No of course not... that's not-"
"Then what is it"
He pauses and pulls a small box out of his pocket and places it in my hand. I look down and stare at the box not fully grasping the situation at hand.
"It's actually quite the opposite" He pulls off his blindfold revealing his beautiful baby blue eyes.
"What are you proposing to me or something?" I ask sarcastically obviously not thinking that he is and that this is going in a completely different direction. He pauses for a moment, his eyes boring into my soul and then gets up. I look up at him as he stands over me sitting down in my chair. He's acting very strange, and I don't quite get why.
"What?" I ask him as I look up at him confused. He sighs.
"For someone so smart, I didn't think I'd have to spell it out so hard..." he slowly lowers down to one knee. My heart skips a beat and everyone that follows resonates loudly in my head.
"Y/N... I've known you for most of my life and I know it took me a while to admit it, but I love you, and I will for the rest of my life. You're the most amazing woman I know. You're a talented sorcerer, a great teacher, kindhearted, extraordinarily beautiful, and so funny. I'm the luckiest man in the world to say that you're mine. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Y/N. You're the only one who can keep up with my banter and give the higher-ups as much as a run for their money. I couldn't imagine my life without you in it and I want to give you everything you deserve. I want to wake up next to you every single morning and spend every passing day with you so...
Marry me?"
My breath is caught in my throat. I stare at him, not being able to say anything. I don't even know what to say, my brain still can't process what's going on... that he's proposing... that he wants to marry me.... he wants to marry me? It's so hard for me to believe so I just stare.
"Baby? Please say something"
I'm probably freaking him out right now but I still can't think of what to say to him. Yes, say yes. I try but no words come out. I nod slowly and then frantically.
"Is that a yes?" I ask her. God I'm so nervous. Why are you so nervous? You'd be nervous too if you were asking a woman like her to marry you and she's not saying anything. I hear her voice ring out every so quietly, sounding like my own personal angel.
"Yes, I'll marry you Satoru" I see a smile, that beautiful smile, across her face and I can't help but smile in return. She's so beautiful. Before I can even finish admiring her for all that she is she envelopes me in a sudden hug, almost knocking me backwards onto the floor. The ring almost falls out of my hand, and I grab it frantically before laughing. She said yes. My arms find their place on her waist and I hold her tightly nuzzling my head into the familiar crook of her neck.
"Then I'm the happiest man in the world" I tell her as I kiss her neck softly. I feel tears soaking into my suit jacket and I pull away from her looking her in the eyes.
"Don't cry. You're supposed to be happy, not crying."
"I don't know why I'm crying." I laugh dryly as I tell him. His fingers meet my cheek, and he wipes away my tears softly, always gently.
"I always thought you were beautiful, even when you cry."
"You're too sweet Satoru." I lean in towards him pressing my lips against his softly. He kisses me softly and runs his hands into my hair, deepening the kiss. He kisses me passionately, lovingly, in only a way that he knows how. I could never explain it but it's like our lips were meant to be pressed together. I pull away from this kiss, pressing my lips onto his forehead.
"I love you Satoru"
"I love you more baby."
He grabs my hand softly and slips the ring onto my finger. It's beautiful, a large diamond embedded into a beautifully adorned ring.
"How do you feel about being Mrs. Gojo now?"
"As if I'd be taking your family name instead of my own."
He raises his eyebrow at me and then chuckles and picks me up bridal style.
"Come on let me get you home. I don't want to wait any longer to spend the rest of night with my new wife."
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Hey guys I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you thought or if you have any feedback :)
#gojo#gojo x reader#oneshot#gojo oneshot#jjk x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#satoru gojo x reader#satoru x reader#jjk#jujustu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#proposal#x reader proposal#gojo proposal#he proposes#gojo x reader proposal
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PLAYLIST. @viv13drainbow I think if you like that song in particular you'd also really enjoy Summer Salt, Little Joy, and Babe Rainbow for chill beach-y rock (not included). Commentary below:
The Blue Album - The album to start all albums, the album that launched weezer to success. Many hail this as their best album (I love this album but respectfully disagree) but nonetheless it's an essential for weezer fans and alt rock fans as a whole. Plenty of people who know way more about music than I do have praised blue album at length, and it's a funny meme nowadays too. Of course say it ain't so is an all-time classic, a heart-wrenching look into Rivers's relationship with alcoholism and his parental figures. I dunno if anything on the blue album can be called a proper deep cut, but only in dreams is an overlooked gem, and probably my favorite outro in their whole discography. Hopeful but somber, that slow buildup a the end to the guitar solo. Suzanne is a nice B-side.
Pinkerton - the infamous Pinkerton. Their sophomore album. Their breakdown album. Although weezer's not exactly an emo band, this album is often credited to being influential to the genre as a whole. No two people have the same experience with love or breakups, and one of the beautiful things about art is that we can see an experience through anothers' eyes, but I don't think I can think of a more painfully relatable album than this one. The balancing act of portraying its sympathetically-unsympathetic protagonist as equal parts pathetic and lonely while also entitled and aggressive. Some of the vocals are so raw for a second you see the monster in the five foot six, nerdy, physically disabled, lead singer that he sees himself as. Hard for me to pick a favorite standalone song off this one; the good life is a funky jam that wouldn't be out of place next to wheatus or RCHP's tracks, but that's where all the funk ends. Why bother? is a driving, catchy song that starts to show the cracks of his depression, falling for you is full of emotion, and if you get your hands on the deluxe edition, tragic girl.
Green album - At its time of release, Pinkerton was not received well. Creating such a raw, personal piece of art is hard. It's like the artistic version of getting crazy drunk, pouring your heart out, feeling catharsis for a moment, then realizing you'll have to deal with it all the next day. A lot of people interpret island in the sun as a happy song, but to me it's the tylenol after that night of drinking, a lie to tell yourself just to get through the day. It has a peaceful rhythm and brings to mind a tropical paradise, but there's something undeniably melancholy beneath the sunshine and smiles. You've tried to face your pain and you barely escaped alive, maybe you're better off just ignoring it. (That being said, although the damage has been done, Pinkerton has later been reevaluated and is now as widely praised as the Blue Album amongst music critics, and Rivers himself has made peace with that phase in his life.)
Maladroit - Overall this album is rather overlooked. It leans a bit more heavily into the rock aspect compared to green album, yet the lyrics remain impersonal and goofy. It's still not a bad album, though doesn't reach the heights of the first two. The singles, Dope Nose & Keep Fishing are both solid, but Burndt Jamb is my personal favorite. A little beach-y, probably their Stroke-y est song, (the band, not the medical emergency), it's been a mainstay on several of my chill out playlists for years now.
Make Believe - Probably one of their most hated albums by fans. It has the infamously shallow and poppy beverly hills, but you know what? I'm a Make Believe Defender. I truly think it could've been a great album, maybe even on par with Pinkerton. Not because of the album itself, but the demos. Haunt you Everyday is solid on the final product but rips at my heartstrings in this demo, ditto for tell me what you did (different name on the final product), everybody wants a chance to be alone (I said burndt jamb was their strokiest song but I think it might actually be this one) purple flowers (lyrics are a little rough but the melody, the meloncholy... so good) Actually on that note, weezer has, like, multiple album's worth of unreleased content that's miles better than anything on a published album (Link for one of my favorite fan compilations). Yes, the lyrics sound like something I wrote in my diary after a breakup, but that makes them all the more real. A deep dive into weezer will reveal the terrifying truth we've all been blind to: weezer never got bad.
Red Album - Mixed feelings on this one. It was produced by Rick Rubin, industry titan and famous for bringing bands "back from the dead," he's produced more than one of my all time favorite albums. Red is not one of them unfortunately. It has its fans though. Pork and Beans is fun.
Raditude, Hurley, Death to False Metal - Skipping these bc I don't care abt them
Everything will be alright in the end - To fans, this was their first "good" album since Maladroit, maybe since Pinkerton (12 years prior!) depending on who you ask. Although it wasn't as commercially successful as some others, it's a very strong album. Really, what is it about rock bands forgetting they're rock bands then suddenly returning to releasing rock music and magically being good again?? I'm looking @ you too, fall out boy. I have a hard time picking a really standout song- it's one of those albums that's evenly good throughout, no skips, but no obvious standouts either. Da Vinci is fun.
White Album - A fantastic album. You can hear some pretty heavy beach boys influence in this one. Unlike EWBAITE it has a few skips for me, but the highs are very high. Speaking of high. Do you wanna get high has to be my favorite off this one, Endless Bummer could be a sequel to island in the sun, Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori is just good clean weezy fun.
Pacific Daydream - I'm a Pacific Daydream defender. Check out QB blitz. Weekend Woman is flawed, but fun too, the bridge really makes it for me. Very evocative of Good Vibrations by the beach boys.
Teal Album - Oh god a cover album. No Scrubs is probably the only one really worth checking out if nothing else to hear a geeky white guy say "A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly" like he's reading it out of a dictionary. (TLC, who wrote and performed the original song, allegedly got a kick out of it)
Black Album & Van Weezer - I don't care about these either. Damnit I thought we were gonna be good again!
Ok Human - A good album!! What a relief. Could you imagine how embarrassing it would be to name yourself as a homage such a groundbreaking radiohead album and have it be.... bad??? I particularly love this one because in some ways it feels like it's his most personal album since Pinkerton- only instead of being an honest dialogue from a horribly lonely and isolated 20 year old student, it's a much more well adjusted, happily married, 50 year old father who is subject to both optimism and ennui. And it rocks! In a soft, subdued way. The songs flow into each other so nicely, the first three in the album debatably are my favorite 3-song-run in their discog. Aloo Gobi and Grapes of Wrath especially. The transition from dark and somber Dead Roses to light and upbeat Here Comes the Rain never gets old to me. This album (alongside MGMT's little dark age and The Stroke's The New Abnormal) was also like my essential Coronavirus holy trinity.
Spring/Summer/Fall/Winter - This is a compilation of 4 EP's, one of each released during their respective seasons in 2022. I think it's solid all around, with Summer being the strongest. Records and Blue Like Jazz are both very catchy, Thank you and Goodnight... just wait for the outro, trust me.
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(small update:)
i am going to reopen my ask box and i'll be going through each and every ask i receive but i will not be replying to any until further notice.
i would also like to thank @ask-philgraves for taking charge during this super overstimulating situation in ways i definitely couldn't. you forever have my love and gratitude <3
i took the offer to join a discord voice call with a few other more notable accounts to discuss the matter and try and come up with a solution with much consideration but as much as i feel i should also have a say in the matter i'm going to have to decline due to personal reasons i won't get into.
(i also suffer from severe online social anxiety which feeds a big factor into my decline )
all hateful or negative asks will be ignored and deleted and all asks and in-character posts will be on halt until further notice. i really hope this can get resolved soon because i miss playing as my favorite ghost boy. and most of all i absolutely loved making this blog and getting to interact with everybody in the community!
@ask-philgraves i kindly ask that if you receive any updates or any sort of compromise for the situation at hand that you send me a dm! i'd love to get this show back on the road and to continue making stupid content for my stupid fans. (lovingly)
(and yes, anon asks will still be disabled. don't even fucking try.)
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How would each ro react to the mc parnets trying to be involved in their child life?
Cause they sound insane as hell considering how they are acting
I'm not going to go into too much detail because some of that will be in the story itself. (below the cut!)
❤️ Cam - Originally, MC's parents treated him well. (likely due to that last name of his.) But, once they realized he was the black sheep of his family, their treatment soured. He sees them for who they are - self-serving and opportunistic. For him, it's a big no. Big no. He knows them too well to give them the benefit of the doubt. "Maybe you should focus on Jade, I mean why stop now right?"
💙 G - So, MC's parents met G several times when they were attending Uni together. They initially liked G, especially when they thought G was on track to become a surgeon. G got along with them until they began noticing the favoritism between MC and Jade. They had hoped they would improve, but from what they noticed they never did. Over time they realized that MC's parents' treatment wasn't a fluke - it was a pattern. G likes to think things through and figure out what's going on. But their patience has limits, and they quickly decide that the parents aren't worth the effort. They don't hide their disdain.
💚 Kara - Our sweet girl likes to believe the best in people, including those two. Kara has been treated like royalty by them. So, she doesn't know all the bad. She has seen MC's parents when they're at their happiest. Surrounded by the Clarke's money and living it up, since they're family friends. Her optimism will crack though, once she starts seeing the difference in how MC is treated in comparison to Jade. Watching MC get brushed aside time and time again is eye-opening for her, and it even parallels. She often feels like a backup/afterthought to her parents. Her loyalty to MC will outweigh her idealism, and she'll start to see the parents for who they are.
💛 M - HATES them. Like really hates them. M has an amazing relationship with their mothers. So, seeing people act so aloof with their child, pisses them off. It's revolting. And you know how M is, sometimes they can hold their tongue, and other times it's out of their mouth before it's even fully processed in their mind. M thinks it's in MC's best interest to cut ties with them. Because they know MC deserves better, and if their parents won't give it to them. M will.
💜 Isaac - So, their feelings about MC's parents are complicated. Isaac lost their mother and has a pretty rocky relationship with his father. So, his perspective is unique. He knows what it's like to feel like a dollar sign to a parent, and he fears MC will face that too when they're more successful. Beneath that cynicism, there's a bit of sadness. Because they can't help but think about the relationship they had with their mother, that they wish MC could have. If Isaac thought there was a chance for MC's relationship with their parents to change and become healthy, they would oh so cautiously, support it. But if not, then he'd be the first to tell them to walk away.
🖤 Ardent - Ugh, this guy has really good parents. Most of his family is great. (then the others well.. spoiler) One of the two out of the ROs. He's used to arguments and disagreements with his family, but those are small fights. Over stupid things, it's never about favoritism or neglect. To him, family means showing up and making someone feel like a priority. MC's parents fail that test immensely. If MC needs companionship, a partnership, or a family he is ready to offer it all. For him, blood isn't what defines family; actions do.
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day 04 : alhaitham x gender neutral reader ; police x criminal ++ modern au!
wc : 3022, swearing, angst??, fluff, horrible humour, reader has a personality and dyed hair, reader is a criminal, occasional minor violence, unestablished relationship for a majority of the fic, happy ending, kissing? art by @/strayuu
author's note : @phantasmaebg pick me choose me love me?
"nice to meetcha," you grin, and alhaitham raises a brow, immediately on guard. this is… not what he'd been expecting.
"i'm… here to arrest you. for your crimes. that you've committed. and are committing. right now." he hopes he does not sound too bored.
"are you, now?" your smile grows bigger, and you toss something to his right. his head whips around instinctively, and you take the opportunity to lunge towards him, withdrawing a concealed knife and digging it ever so slightly into the back of his neck. the blade doesn't cut the skin yet, but before you get to even utter another word, he automatically flips you over his shoulder. now you weren't expecting that.
"ow!" a startled yelp escapes your throat, but you don't waste any time lying on the floor or wallowing in self-pity like he'd hoped. instead, you're back on your feet in a remarkably fast time, and edging towards him again, looking… hopeful?
"y'know," you begin. "i didn't expect you to be, y'know, not the usual potbellied dwarfs they send after me."
he raises a brow in question, not really sure where you're going with this.
"what i'm tryna say is, are they real?"
"are what— what?"
"your, um." you jab at the general direction of his abdomen with a finger. "your abs."
alhaitham, for the first time in a good few years, is rendered speechless. he blinks at you silently, wondering if you are some alien species he has not yet been informed about, then shakes his head. "what? it doesn't matter. now don't move."
you ignore him. "so they're fake?"
"no, of course not!" he hates the fact that he replies.
"can i touch?"
"what? no." alhaitham is appalled.
"aw, okay. well then, i'll get going—"
"no you're not." he takes a step towards you, and then another, and another—
you turn around and grab him by his fancy tie, pulling him down to your level.
"listen, lemme go and i'll show you a real good time when we meet next," you promise.
when you let him go, when you actually leave, alhaitham makes no effort to follow. instead, he just stands and watches you go.
alhaitham's experiencing a day off. not enjoying it, just experiencing it. there's a difference, really. to be honest, he might even hate it a little. he kind of wishes he was back at work — and oh, apparently he's manifested it into existence, too. angry yells ring out all around him, and a single figure — rather familiar if he does say so himself — runs out from the crowd, leaping and diving over the cars on the road. His first — very unpolicemanlike — instinct is to pause. instead of running after the thief, he freezes. subway surfers, says his brain. like the ones on your mother's phone, when you were a kid.
he hates thinking of his mother.
he grimaces but complies, setting off in their direction. for a moment or two, he thinks he might not make it. maybe he'll have let the thief go. but it'll be his second failure this year, and the third in his entire career. in other words, this simply cannot happen. (the second had been the first time you met him; the death of his mother when he was eighteen, the fact that he'd let the killer get away is the first. it's all personal for him, though — none of these show up in his records.) his energy seems to spike, almost, and he speeds up, and the thief — you come back into view. he knows it's you because you turn back to see who's chasing you, and your eyes widen in recognition when you see him. (he's the exact same, and even though your hair is now a concerning mess of purple and green, he still knows who it is, and he still knows it's you. even though you've only met once. no, don't say anything about it, please.)
you slide into an alleyway (even though you know there's a dead end) and he follows, right into your trap, unthinking.
"hi, alhaitham!" you say, much too cheerful for a situation like this. "i'm glad you recognised me!"
"didn't," he forces out; it's a lie.
you smile at him knowing. somehow, it's worse than if you'd just responded.
"you're doing this on purpose," he ventures, guarded. "what do you want from me? how do you know my name?"
"i googled you!" you say brightly. "as for what i want… how do i phrase this?"
you pause, pretending to think for a moment. in his opinion, you lack the ability to do so completely.
"alhaitham, i think we may be soulmates!" you announce with a flourish.
he raises a brow. "no, we're not?"
it comes out as more of a question than an answer.
"well, if you're so sure, what's your wrist say?" you demand, peering at him as if you're going to go over to him and investigate his wrist yourself; he backs away defensively.
"y/n l/n, why?"
"that's literally my name," you deadpan.
his first instinct is to deny it. (how does that even make sense?) the second one tells him to run.
"i'm sure there are a lot of y/ns around," he says at last.
"none with alhaitham on their wrist, i'm sure," you retort, and his heart drops into his, well, ass, for lack of a better word.
"…ah."
"yeah."
alhaitham honestly fears the worst. he's had two other run-ins with you over the past month, and it gets worse each time. like, you're soulmates. okay. he's part of the law enforcement, and slowly but surely falling in love with you, an anonymous but wanted criminal. not okay.
you keep showing up in the most unlikely places — like right now, at his favourite cafe. you're almost sheepish, and you're not radiating your usual confidence, and you don't even make a move to approach him. not until he curses himself and beckons you over, that is. and you're too happy to bound over; you also take the opportunity to make him pay for your coffee and an overpriced, underwhelming pastry.
your hair is pink and blue; "tv girl reference," you tell him, then, "i don't even listen to tv girl."
he doesn't know what a tv girl is, nor does he want to find out, but he assumes it's an obscure internet reference. how are you a basically homeless robber but also chronically online? that's his soulmate for you.
his chin is cradled on his palm as he surveys you with the air of a depressed old professor facing their one hundred and twelfth petri dish; you're going on and on about something unimportant that he doesn't care about very much, just because he likes your voice so much. he understands that it means he's not a very good — boyfriend? partner? situationship? the two of you aren't exactly dating, per se, but whatever you've got going on isn't very platonic either. he decides not to worry about it right now. maybe he'll just enjoy his time with you instead.
"sorry," he says, voice rough from disuse. "can you repeat that again?"
and if you were anyone else, he'd expect you to be upset, maybe annoyed, but you just seem so happy to be able to talk to him. you perk up; "what were you even zoning out about?" you ask before launching back into whatever you were talking about.
but you're barely two sentences in when he interrupts you once more.
"you," he says. "i was thinking about you."
for the first time in a while, you lose the ability to speak, and your face turns a brilliant shade of red.
"oh," you say. "don't say that."
"but it's true," he hums thoughtfully. "i don't do lies."
"oh," you say again. "okay."
he's always been very careful about who he lets in, who he lets see certain parts of him. no one gets to see him at his very best, for example, and no one gets to see him at his worst either. it's just one of the many rules he's set in place for himself. rules make life easier.
you, on the other hand, seem to break all of them simultaneously as you crash into his life repeatedly without notice; you see him display more emotion in the short time that you've known him than people he's known for decades. and the worst part is, he doesn't hate it at all.
alhaitham doesn't hear you approach the first time, head buried in his arms as he tries to block out all external stimuli — the noise cancelling headphones are working, yes, but not as well as they should be. even then, he's quite startled when you pull the hood of his jacket up and lean right into his face.
"fuck off," he says, and your eyes widen. you've never once heard him swear before.
"you good, bro?" you ask, sliding shamelessly into the chair opposite him at his little cafe table.
"i'm not your bro," he says, sitting up straighter. "and i'm fine."
"no you're not," you reply immediately. "you're wearing a hoodie and sweats. something's not right."
"it's just a bad day," he says at last. "i'm having a bad day. there, happy?"
you sigh. "why're you out and about, then? let's go back home."
"no." it comes out harsh, harsher than he wants it to, and you flinch, and he's never felt worse in his life. but you shake your head like a dog shaking off water, and smile at him, big and bright. he thinks you might be the sun, coming down from the sky to cater specifically to him, even though it's raining outside.
"that's fine, we can go to mine instead."
"you have a place?" he asks, so surprised that it slips out before he can stop it. you laugh at his taken-aback face, and even he musters up a smile at that. maybe all is not yet lost, he muses as he gets up.
.
alhaitham hates the dark, hates not being able to see. the blinds in your dingy apartment are pulled down to the floor, and you haven't bothered to turn the lights on yet. rain pelts the windows around you, and alhaitham's hoodie is slung carelessly over the back of a chair — your only one, actually, but it doesn't matter — which is wildly uncharacteristic; when'd he stop caring about hygiene so much?
you're on top of him — wow! — and he watches you through half-lidded eyes, free hand coming up to play with your hair. it's green again, he notes; this time it's the colour of his eyes. he's not sure how you've ended up here, in bed, instead of at the table where he'd opened up to anyone for the very first time in his life. not that he minds it, really. your fingers are cool around his wrist — your hands are always rather cold — and you press your lips to his soulmate tattoo, and he grins, and maybe his bad day isn't that bad after all.
but just because your relationship — that's still not really a relationship, considering he only sees you on and off every few months — has its highs, doesn't mean it doesn't have its lows, either. after all, you are still from very two different worlds.
it's only natural for him to be upset when you show up at his door again, bloodied and bruised. he knows it's hard for you, he knows this is all you know, but really. he's let you in, so why don't you do the same? or let him do something for you, even if it's in return for everything you've ever done for for him.
so he tells you that (for the sixth time over the course of knowing you, if he's kept count correctly) and as usual, you deny.
you're sitting on his kitchen counter by a stack of books you've taken from his shelves, mouth full of grilled chicken when he comes up to you, looking more serious than usual. though he's between your legs, hands on the counter on either side of you.
"what's up?" you ask after you swallow, confused.
"you need to stop this. stop running around and risking your life for unnecessary shit."
"it's not unnecessary, i need all that," you argue.
"i can get you everything you need and more, so if you think about it logically—"
"fuck logic!" you snap. "i'm good just like this, thanks. besides, i don't want to depend on anyone else, not anymore, anyways."
"and i am risking my job for you, so maybe stop and look at the bigger pciture." alhaitham is calm, eerily so. but you know he has a point. you know this isn't something he — either of you — should be doing. "y/n, please, if you stop this— this foolish thieving you've got going on, i can help you, the way you need."
"i don't want your help," you retort before realising that this is escalating too fast. you decide to change the subject instead. "there's a lot of other things you're giving me, and it's enough. hell, it's way too much!"
"what do i even give you?" he asks, genuinely intrigued. you make a funny face at him, and his curiosity turns into distaste as he grimaces.
"you're disgusting."
something between a scoff and a lugh escapes you, and you get up, placing your plate by the sink as you head towards where you kept your shoes. "you're even worse, mr. respectable police officer. helping out a lowly thief like me? on a regular basis too!"
he glares at you, crossing his arms defensively. "you know there's a reason."
"i think i forgot." you smile without remorse; it's obvious that you haven't forgotten anything. alhaitham, for one, knows your memory is top tier. "actually, i think i need you to remind me again."
he makes a discontented noise low in his throat. "it's because we're soulmates, because i'm in love with you. there, are you satisfied?"
"very." you are. "so gimme a kiss, alhaitham, and i can go on my merry way— see you at my next crime scene, maybe?"
"maybe not." he leans back when you lean up, and your lips turn down in response.
"what, hate me that much?"
he shakes his head. "give it a try, please. not being a nasty little thief, i mean."
you roll your eyes. "and what do i get in return? exactly, nothing!"
he sighs. "c'mon, pretty—"
"what'd you call me?"
alhaitham purses his lips. "you have nothing left to lose, i'll take care of you. we can have an actual—"
"my honour doesn't allow that."
"what honour do you have, living off— off shit you steal?" his voice, in contrast to his words, is surprisingly gentle. "when you know i could help you make a change."
you swallow. no one's happy now.
"like i said," you begin, and your voice wobbles. "like i said, i should get going now."
"alright." he moves automatically now, like he's only doing it because he's being forced to, deflated, like something in him has been extinguished. he doesn't attempt to talk to you again, although he does kiss you goodbye like he usually does. it's only when you've walked halfway down the drive does he speak again.
"y/n," he calls; you turn around, caught off guard by the sudden use of your name. "we're soulmates. no matter what, you'll always end up with me. try to fight it all you want, but it's the truth. it's as true as the sun in the sky and the books you read."
and he shuts the door, and you don't see him again for the next six months.
when you do see alhaitham again, there's not only a defeated look in his eyes — as usual, every time he finds you — but one in yours too. you're covered in dirt and grime and blood, knuckles bruised a sick mix of blue, purple, and green that he knows will look even worse later. you look like a cornered creature, feral, flighty, ready to attack at any given moment. your poise looks relaxed, but from years of experience and knowing you he knows that it's nothing less than a disguise. you're so on guard, you're physically unable to let it down around him.
"what happened?" he takes a single, firm step towards you, but nothing more. no sudden movements, no actions that will cause you to work yourself up further.
"almost got caught," you force out. you're panting, voice raspy, eyes following all his movements.
"oh." he softens, visibly. "well. not much i can do now, right?"
"yeah."
"unless…"
"yeah, i'm done."
he tries to hide the smile that creeps up on his face, and fails miserably.
you let him take you home that night; whatever inside you that had been fuelling all of this seems to have finally burned itself out. you let yourself cry when he bandages you up, rough hands tender upon yours. and when he begs you, again, to allow him to take care of you, you don't refuse.
opening up to people is hard; he knows that better than anyone else, and when you do begin to speak, eyes trained on your lap, where your bandaged hands fidget with each other. your voice is shaky, but you are speaking, and he is listening. and in the little piece of the world that's yours — you, and him, and the house that you now share — that is enough.
the robberies around town die down all of a sudden; coincidentally the records of the perpetrator of those aforementioned crimes are all erased due to a mishap while saving some files. alhaitham's records are perfectly clean; better officers than him — if any — are found few and far between. and no one makes the connection between you and the infamous thief in town.
and it's while it's not the easiest or most enjoyable ride ever, the two of you do get your happy ending. you think you don't deserve it, but he knows you do.
© reocidal 2024
#alhaitham x reader#al haitham x reader#alhaitham x you#al haitham x you#alhaitham x y/n#alhaitham fluff#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact x you#genshin x y/n#genshin fanfic#genshin fluff#alhaitham genshin#genshin imagines#genshin impact#alhaitham#al haitham#mine🫀
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Tagging @sakiyaki-sashimi just to make sure she sees this too!
So Enstars has had problems for awhile now but it's gotten much worse recently.
First there is Adonis, one of the idol is the game. He is the only character with brown skin and he's from somewhere in the middle east. Despite being very kind and sweet, other characters treat him like he's scary or as a monster. And they do this pretty much exclusively because he isn't light skinned, which is very sad.
Next, you have Hiiro and Rinne Amagi, who belong to an indigenous tribe based off the real-life Ainu people. Their characterizations draw from several different negative stereotypes of indigenous people. Hiiro is seen as stupid and doesn't understand the modern world due to being raised in a village away from "normal" society for all his life. Rinne is a drunk and a gambler who's just very rude and crass to the other people around him. I believe Happy Elements (the company behind Enstars) got complaints a couple of years ago from the Ainu people about how their culture was being represented in the game. Due to this, they decided to make the Amagi's village super technologically advanced, which is another stereotype that comes from an overcorrected attempt to not portray native people as less advanced than their colonizers. (I think at least, I'm not an expert on these things so sorry if I get something wrong)
And then we get to Ibuki and Akatsuki. Ibuki's heritage is different from the Amagi brothers as his ancestors are Ryukyuan, a native people who mostly live in Okinawa I believe. Firstly, when Ibuki was added to the game, he called his own ancestors demons, which... isn't a great start, but he seemed to be proud of his family and where they came from. It seemed Ibuki's identity was going to be a large part of his character and we, the fandom, were hopeful to see how it goes.
Then they added him to Akatsuki, an already existing unit. This unit's theme is based around traditional Japanese aesthetics and culture. And when Ibuki joined the unit, he talked about wanting to embrace more of his Japanese identity, which is just really weird and it's clear the writers didn't actually care about portraying an indigenous character. It's just really gross for them to make Ibuki ignore the native culture of his family and to instead turn and embrace the culture of the people who colonized and oppressed them.
This decision by the writers has upset literally every corner of the fandom, English, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc, etc. Everyone hated this decision but Happy Elements has stood their ground and refuse to listen to us. So (mostly English fans I believe) have called for a complete boycott of the series in order to hit them where it hurts the most, their pockets! I added the part about not financially supporting the Project Sekai side of the collab because this series hasn't been perfect either and I don't want them getting any ideas...
But I hope this covers it all! It's a really unfortunate situation overall as Enstars was a fun series despite it's flaws but it's clear now that the people behind the game really don't care about the fans or the characters anymore...
As the pjsekai x enstars crossover approaches, I would like to remind everyone that there is a boycott of enstars going on right now due to the blatant racism and pro-colonization views promoted in recent stories.
The most important thing is to avoid everything on the enstars side of the collab. I forget what they're getting specifically but don't watch the song mv when it's uploaded to their official channel and do not download the game.
Now this next part is just my opinion but I would also avoid any monetary support of pjsekai's side of the collab. They don't deserve any support for collabing with a racist game/company imo.
Just please don't mindlessly celebrate and get excited over this xoxo - an ex-enstarrie
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